


It's In the Cards

by lady_simoriah



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Physical Abuse, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:13:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 44,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6102964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_simoriah/pseuds/lady_simoriah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen has a gift. To others, they're just normal playing cards but to him they have messages to deliver and one in particular just won't leave him alone.</p><p>Jared has a problem. To save his family, he's given himself to Jeffrey Dean Morgan, a ruthless businessman, who doesn't hesitate to abuse him both in public and behind closed doors.</p><p>Jensen takes a Caribbean cruise in the hopes of the universe having a new message for him and winds up getting more than he bargained for when the cards and the universe put Jared in his path. The only question is whether the cards can show Jensen a way to get Jared out of Jeff's twisted hold before it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: I was able to get a lot of this fic written for spn_reversebang but not quite all of it. I didn't want to leave my awesome artist hanging so here's what I've got done so far with many more chapters to come. I'll probably have to take a break from it a little less than a month from now for SPN SeaCon but you can bet once I get back there'll be plenty more to read.
> 
> A thousand and one thank yous to my artist siriala (http://archiveofourown.org/works/6101969) for working with me all these months to craft this combination of art and story. Thank you for crafting art that inspired me and for being patient with me when it seemed like nothing was happening.
> 
> I'd also like to thank tipsy_kitty for her speedy beta work considering this fic was already a monster when I handed it off to her and I'm sure it's only going to continue to grow as time goes on. Your attention to the little things I miss has helped me so much with having this ready to post in time for amnesty.

Jensen wasn’t sure why he’d allowed Misha to talk him into this other than the fact that his worst fears about his last boyfriend had come to pass just as surely as if they’d been written out in some book. Jensen sighed and shook his head, part of him wishing he’d thrown the cards away the moment his personal life had begun to bleed through into his readings. Normally he could keep his distance, keep the energy focused on the person who had come to him for advice, but occasionally when the universe had an important message to impart to him, it came through the cards whether he was reading for himself or for others, like it or not. Even Misha had picked up on it the last few times he’d dropped by for coffee, his brow creasing as he surveyed Jensen’s aura before shaking his head and making a tsking sound as he returned his attention to the espresso machine. It had been almost a month since the break up when Misha pushed the brochure for the gay cruise across the counter alongside his latte.

“Uh, thanks for the offer but you’re not really my type, Mish,” he said, trying to let the sensitive barista down easy.

“It’s not an offer, Jensen, more like some life coach style advice, don’t think I haven’t seen you moping around here day in and day out,” sighed Misha. “You need something to put some light back in those gorgeous greens and don’t tell me you’re fine because your aura is so supremely fucked even I couldn’t put it back to rights.”

Jensen sighed, knowing when the little punk had him beat just by the weary but knowing look he caught from Vicki, Misha’s wife, as she changed out the whipped cream. He allowed his eyes to skim over the brochure Misha had procured, unsure just how being on a giant ship with hundreds, no, thousands of strangers would serve to clean up his aura and put him back to rights. He took in the sight of the muscle–bound, tanned bodies that the advertisers had used to lure in guys like him and shook his head knowing somehow in his gut that this cruise wasn’t for him.

“Okay, okay,” he relented, “I’ll go on a cruise but not…this…not some floating meat market. If I’m going on a vacation I want to be in with everyone else so that I don’t have to deal with all the constant angling for a hook up.”

“What’s wrong with a hook up?” retorted Misha, “For God’s sake man, get back in the ocean before you turn into a salted cod and dry up from being on land too long.”

“Misha,” said Vicki warningly.

“What?”

Much to Jensen’s surprise, she set aside the aerosols for the whipped cream in the fridge and crossed to the counter where they were chatting, producing her own very normal, run of the mill cruise brochure from her apron.

“Take both,” she advised, “In case you change your mind.”

He’d shot a grateful smile her way then playfully flipped Misha off before taking both brochures and his latte and leaving the coffee shop. That had been months ago and in the time between that conversation and now he had consulted his cards time and time again despite how he knew reading for oneself was a risky venture. Finally, out of frustration, both with the cards and his troubled mind, he flung the damn things into the air and closed his eyes, willing with every ounce of energy he possessed for the cards to guide him. When he opened his eyes and found every single card facing down save for three he knew he had his answer because there was no amount of odds that would allow for something that specific to happen. He collected the cards and heaved a heavy breath as he studied the Eight of Diamonds, the Ten of Clubs, and the Jack of Hearts. The message was undeniable and despite his reservations about how being around so many people in such tight quarters for any length of time could negatively affect his gift, he booked himself a ticket on an eight night cruise through the Caribbean in the hopes of soaking up some positive energy to restore his ailing aura. 

Naturally, when he'd told Misha, the guy had insisted on taking him shopping with Vicki and Vicki's girlfriend Danneel as partners in crime. He was practically shorts-phobic but somehow he still wound up with at least three pair in his luggage as well as a multitude of tee shirts and jeans. Danneel had talked him into the slacks and dress shirt with a tie and jacket that were tucked into a swanky looking garment bag from one of the nicer stores and Jensen felt like headdesking at the amount of money he'd spent thus far on the whole affair despite the girls' insistence that he ought to have at least one outfit that didn't make him look like he fell off the produce truck yesterday in case he found some balls and actually decided to hit up some of the bars and clubs that were part of the cruising experience. The last thing he'd packed was his deck of cards, the one with the dark blue, star spangled backs that helped distinguish them from your everyday poker deck. He allowed his thumb to graze along the top card as he went to wrap them up in their black velvet wrapper, feeling the pull of them and struggling to resist the urge to take one last look, to be sure he was doing the right thing. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, focusing on that warm pool of energy that seemed to reside just below his heart and allowing it to draw him in.

"Okay," he murmured, "tell me what I'll find on this trip, why is it so important?"

He turned over not one but two cards since he had asked two questions, then sucked in a breath when he opened his eyes and saw which two were laid out on the bed in front of him. The irony of the cards actually spelling out his initials wasn't lost on him but what gutted him even further was the meaning he could see and sense, the weight of something almost like destiny sitting heavy on his shoulders as he picked up the Jack and Ace of Hearts.

"No," he mused, "not this, fuckin' universe you better be screwing with me or so help me."

The face on the Jack almost seemed to laugh at his distress as he purposefully shoved both cards back into the middle of the deck, wanting to push the image of them from his mind as far as he could. He wrapped the cards in the black velvet and stowed them away in the bottom of his bag where he hoped to forget about them, forget his gift, forget the way the universe had screwed with his life since he'd hit puberty. He drove rather than flew from his home in Texas down to New Orleans to board the cruise ship that according to the cards and to Misha was supposed to solve all his problems. He glanced around furtively as he dragged his small bag up the gangplank with him, taking in the crowds that he was going to be sharing the massive craft with. He spotted families with young children who'd likely dominate most of the swimming pools as well as blue haired ladies and their husbands who'd spend most of their retirement money in the casino on board. He shook his head, feeling that urge to get out his cards for some of them, to sit them down and let them know what message was lurking out in the ether for them but he resisted. It wasn't until he was on board the ship and had moved to stand along the railing like a classic tourist, figuring his tight cramped cabin could wait until he'd watched the Louisiana shore line fade into the distance, that he saw him. He was hard to miss to be honest, his body long and lanky, almost coltish in the self conscious slump of his broad shoulders. He looked like if he were to fall over he'd likely take half the crowd on the gangplank along with him. His floppy brown hair fell forward, obscuring his eyes from Jensen's view, and something in his gut told him that it wasn't by accident, that given the chance the young man would rather hide than face the world that he lived in. Just like Jensen had feared, the man he'd been watching stumbled and nearly knocked over a pair of young women ahead of him before he was steadied by an older, dark-haired man with a salt and pepper beard. The sight of the older man's hand on the younger man's arm set off all kinds of warning bells through Jensen's senses, especially when he saw the way the man's grip tightened to the point where Jensen winced in sympathy.

 _'Get away from him,'_ his gut screamed, though he wasn't sure if he was demanding for the older man to release the younger or for the younger man to run far and fast away from the possessive man beside him.

He remained where he was by the railing, glued to the sight of the two of them as the man frowned and practically dragged his younger companion the rest of the way onboard the ship. He bit at his lip and gripped both the handle of his small rolling bag that had his bare essentials and the railing as he fought the urge to follow the two men through the crowd. There was just something in the slump of those shoulders on a man who should have nothing to fear from anyone that had Jensen wanting to sweep in and take him away from whatever had him so intimidated. He felt his eyes slip closed and he reached out with his senses through the waves and waves of people, willing for the young man with the floppy brown hair to look at him, just look his way for a moment.

 _'Please,'_ he thought, _'Please look at me.'_

He opened his eyes slowly, half expecting it not to work because of all the noise and interference between the two of them, only to find him meeting the most gorgeous set of slanted hazel eyes over the multitude of heads that kept them apart. His own lips curved in a soft smile and he was painfully tempted to wave until he saw the agony lurking behind the beauty in that gaze. His heart twisted in his chest and he felt an urge to shove his way through the crowd, suitcase and potential possessive boyfriend be damned, and wrap that young man up in his arms and tell him that whatever had come before, whatever had caused him to bear such a multitude of scars and wounds on his psyche, would never touch him again. He didn't do that though because about the time he would've tried was when the man who still had an iron grip on the tall guy's arm spotted him and locked eyes with him. The level of menace he saw in that coffee brown gaze just about froze Jensen with an irrational amount of fear and had him wondering if the young man he'd been admiring so freely had the physical scars to match the psychic ones he was picking up on. He understood now why the young man looked so cowed and seemed determined not to draw any attention to himself with a dangerous man like that for a boyfriend. 

And there was no doubt in his mind now that the salt and pepper man was the tall fellow's boyfriend, no one else would radiate such waves of possession and vitriol toward anyone with working sexual anatomy. Jensen knew he should look away, that every moment he remained locked in the older man's gaze he was risking not only himself but the young man, but there was something deep inside him that refused to be cowed by this maleficent man. He held the man's gaze challengingly until the bastard finally snorted with disgust and towed his boyfriend away, obviously eager to get him out of Jensen's sight as quickly as possible. Jensen favored tall and floppy haired with one last gentle look before they vanished then felt his whole body sag slightly from the way his energy had been sapped by facing down Mr. Salt and Pepper. He had a feeling he would sleep well that night with as exhausted and drained as he felt, at least as long as his mind didn't supply him with images of brown hair and hazel eyes to torture his dreaming brain. He shook his head, trying to put the two men out of his mind as he heard the ship's horn blow, its deep sound booming out over land and sea alike as they began to pull away from the dock. Streamers flew and people yelled and waved, bidding their loved ones farewell as they motored away into the Gulf of Mexico.

Jensen felt like he spent most of the rest of that first day in an exhausted haze, only half listening through the safety lecture and nearly bumping into the back of the porter that escorted him to the hallway that contained his cabin. He wasn't sure if he would even make it to his first meal on board ship or if he even wanted to considering he ran the risk of encountering those two men again. He sighed with relief when he found the garment bag Danneel and Vicki had forced on him as well as his larger case waiting for him in his cabin unlike the couple halfway down the hall whose bags had somehow been misplaced if not left behind back on shore. He could hear their argument echo down the hall and contemplated going for one of the pairs of earplugs he'd packed in the hopes of drowning out any noisy neighbors. He unpacked his bare essentials and felt his fingers twitch as he got down to the bottom of his bag where he'd buried his deck of cards.

"Shut up," he muttered, stuffing down the urge to do a reading. "I'm not doing it, not going there, not now."

If he thought he was stubborn though, the universe was even worse when it dug its heels in and despite how he tried to distract himself he found himself moving to sit on the bed cross legged with his deck of cards in his hands. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply before releasing that breath with equal slowness, grounding and centering himself after the encounter he'd had at boarding and debark. When he felt as calm as he thought he was going to get, he opened his eyes and unwrapped his cards, beginning to shuffle as he allowed his mind to wander to what insight he needed. He laid out six cards face down and braced himself for the answers that lay beneath. He took a deep breath and turned them over one by one, grimacing at the message he was getting the further he went.

"I don't want this," he grumbled to himself, rubbing his temples as he studied the cards. "I don't want to start trouble and yet that's all that's here."

His eyes roamed over the first three cards that told him what he wanted to be true, what he hoped wasn't true and what the bitter reality was. Judging by the Three of Clubs, Five of Spades, and Eight of Diamonds, the young man he'd been ogling up the gangplank was in far worse shape than he'd expected. What made things even worse was the Eight of Spades, Seven of Hearts, and Three of Spades in the second row telling him what he did and didn't want to happen. The Three of Spades was the card that had him the most worried since he had a feeling that the couple he'd seen wouldn't welcome a third nosing in on their business regardless of intentions.

"Dammit," he huffed, shoving the cards aside and cursing himself for being born with this ridiculous gift.

He collected the cards from the floor and put them back in the deck before shuffling it again, hoping for a better answer if he drew fewer cards. Instead he found two familiar faces staring up at him from the wash of black velvet which had him feeling even angrier at the universe for hating him so much. He picked up the Jack and Ace of Hearts and thought about ripping them into tiny pieces, but then his deck would be useless and his gift would push him toward another until he replaced what he'd destroyed. He'd done that before in his early days when a reading hadn't gone how he wanted and the need to repair what was broken nearly made him physically ill. Instead he buried them back in the deck, not liking the foreboding feeling that churned in his gut at having those two cards in particular show up again after what'd happened up on deck. He fetched his laptop after he'd stowed his cards away and fired off a quick email to Misha that quickly turned into him ranting to his buddy back home about the guy he'd met but yet not met that seemed to be in some kind of relationship but that he wanted to woo away and give hot chocolate and cookies. He hit the send button before he could second guess himself and to some extent he dreaded how Misha would respond or worse, the barrage of advice he was likely to get not only from Misha but the rest of their little group on what steps to take next. He shut the laptop and sagged back in the chair, swiping a hand over his mouth as he found himself thinking about the handsome, hazel-eyed guy with the slumped shoulders.

"Who are you?" he wondered aloud, "And why me? Why fuckin' me?"

He stared up at the ceiling, his body swaying slightly with the movement of the ship as it motored through the waves. He considered diving headfirst into the bed but his guts had different ideas in more ways than one when it grumbled at him to get up and go rather than crashing. He opened the door to his cabin cautiously as though half expecting the glowering guy who'd been manhandling the young man up the gangplank to be on the other side ready to kick his ass for even laying eyes on his partner. He sighed with relief and eased out the door, only for his heart to leap out of his chest when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder.

"Whoa, sorry dude, didn't mean to scare you," responded the petite redhead he remembered being in front of the guy he'd been eyeballing.

"It's...it's okay, wasn't scared," he responded, forcing a smile on his face.

He felt embarrassed by the fact that she'd managed to sneak up on him since usually he would've noticed and he ducked his head to try and hide his blush.

"Oh...good, well, um...hi, I'm Felicia, my friend Gen and I are bunking just a couple doors down and when I saw you kind of sneaking out of your room I figured you could use some company for dinner maybe, if you want that is," she rambled.

Jensen's eyes widened at first then his brow creased as he considered Felicia's offer, allowing his senses to reach out seeking any ounce of falsehood in any of her words. It actually amazed him at how genuine she was about her offer even though he had a feeling she was lying about her and Gen being just friends. He knew their cabin was likely set up the same as his own considering they were in the same block on the ship which meant a single bed rather than two, not something two friends were likely to share unless they were extremely frugal or a lot closer than just friends. The latter would definitely explain the ulterior motive he felt lurking toward the back of her psyche. He couldn't see it clearly but he could feel it but it didn't feel malicious, unlike the vibes the man he'd seen with the tall guy had been giving off.

"Um, yeah, sure," he said, nodding and motioning for Felicia to lead the way.

His eyebrows just about rose to his hairline when Felicia's friend Gen joined them wearing a pair of short shorts and a halter top that showed off her assets in a way that even someone like Jensen would be hard pressed to ignore. It was also hard to ignore the vibes that she was throwing Felicia's way with that outfit, which had him almost regretting agreeing to go with them to dinner.

"Gen, this is...um, you know what, I didn't even get your name," she said, gesturing toward Jensen.

"Jensen," he said, "I'm Jensen."

"Genevieve," said the dark haired young woman, offering her hand for Jensen to shake.

Jensen swallowed hard and braced himself as he reached out to shake Genevieve's hand, hoping that he wouldn't get the barrage of emotions and thoughts he'd gotten from certain people in the past. That had been part of how he'd known that Misha was a sensitive, though not in the same vein as himself, and how he'd known that his friend and Vicki weren't just a couple when he'd met Danneel. Thankfully either Genevieve was very good at keeping herself closed off to people like him or he just wasn't meant to have any more insight into her than what his eyes could see and his senses could feel because the most he was able to catch was a brief mix of relief and arousal which he knew wasn't intended for him.

"You know, you ladies don't have to lie to me," he said without thinking. "Not that I'm not grateful for the dinner invite but I really hope there's a reason why you picked me for your third wheel."

Both Genevieve and Felicia looked at each other for a moment, stunned, before turning back to look at Jensen.

"How did you..." started Felicia.

"I knew it, you're gay," chuckled Genevieve. "You'll be perfect for keeping the lecherous party boys away at the buffet. They seem to think of everything in life as one big Girls Gone Wild video on these things."

Jensen felt himself relax a bit further, his lips curving into a grin at Gen's explanation for his presence as part of their party considering they likely would be far more content as a party of two. He made a point of moving to stand between them, wrapping an arm around the waist of each and checking to make sure they were both cool with the cover move before they headed for the stairs.

"So is this normal for you two?" he inquired, "You scout out someone harmless or nearly harmless and have him be your beard?"

"Sometimes," responded Felicia. "Mostly when we're down here because either we tend to offend the straights or attract unwanted attention with our frolicking."

Jensen fought down the urge to laugh at Felicia's explanation, but as he looked at both girls and gave it some thought he could sense how serious she was. He thought about pointing out that there were cruises geared toward them and he still had the pamphlet from Misha, he'd brought it along as a bizarre good luck charm, but thought better of it considering the way he'd poo-poo'ed it for himself. They headed up the stairs rather than waiting in the massive groups that were queuing up for the elevators and headed straight for the buffet which was both a good and a bad thing. On the one hand, free food, on the other hand, Jensen spotted the exact people he both did and didn't want to see in line for the all American line up of burgers and other cook out fixings. He made a point of averting his eyes despite the way he could feel the tug of the young man's presence in the room. His presence wasn't the only thing he could feel, his gaze was like a lead weight pressing against Jensen's skull, niggling at him to look up, to meet those sad puppy eyes and reassure him that he could get through the next minute, hour, day. He fought that urge, unwilling to risk the reparations that would likely come for them both even though they didn't even so much as know each other's name.

"Oh wow, Jensen, don't look now but there's a serious sasquatch giving you eyes despite the way his buddy looks about ready to turn him over his knee and spank him," said Felicia.

"I think a spanking is the least of his worries," mused Jensen.

"Who are you...oh...oh my, do you know who that is?" inquired Genevieve.

"No, who?"

"That's Jared Padalecki. His family owns a winery in Texas that's being bought out by that musclebear holding his leash, Jeffrey Dean Morgan," she explained.

Now that he had names to go with their faces, Jensen couldn't help but turn his head, his gaze practically colliding with Jared's like two magnets helplessly drawn to each other. He allowed his gaze to linger even though he knew he shouldn't, taking in the steep slope of Jared's high cheekbones, which were a lot more prominent than they should have been. As a matter of fact, despite the broadness of Jared's shoulders he looked gaunt in spite of the food that was piled on his plate. That observation had his lips pulling into a tight line and shifting his gaze accusingly to Jeff who was sitting beside Jared stuffing his face with great relish, seemingly unfazed, at least for now, by Jared's wandering gaze. No matter how much of Jared his eyes seemed determined to consume he always came back to those sad, slanted hazel eyes that looked like they'd seen more pain in the past hour than some people saw in their entire lifetimes. He wanted to erase that pain so badly it ached and it was that ache that forced him to pry his gaze away before he gave Jeff reason to inflict more damage on Jared. He and Felicia and Genevieve finished their trip through the buffet line and Jensen made a point to sit with his back toward Jared and Jeff, not needing the temptation even though he could still feel Jared's eyes boring into his back. He tried to eat but every bite felt like he was chewing cardboard despite how tasty the food should have been based on the girl's reactions. He pushed his potato salad around on his plate in between small bites and sipped on the sweet tea absentmindedly until Felicia's conversation pulled his brain back to their table.

"And then the monkeys stripped off their clothes and danced the hula."

"Huh?"

"Nice to have you back, Jensen," teased Genevieve. "Now would you mind sharing with the class just where your mind just went on vacation? Because I don't think it was Jamaica."

"I dunno, I'll bet it involved weather that was warm and sunny, the better for shedding clothes and all that," added Felicia with a sly grin.

Jensen eyed both girls suspiciously then turned his attention back to his food, hoping that maybe if he kept his mouth full with food that the girls would drop their sudden line of questioning.

"It's Padalecki isn't it?" prompted Genevieve. "If it's not then you've gotta be crazy because he keeps looking at you like a man on a diet looks at bacon."

Jensen couldn't help how his body tensed when she mentioned Jared's name and how the young man was still staring at him. He refused to glance over his shoulder to verify if Genevieve was telling the truth, though he had a feeling from the second set of eyes that he could feel weighing him down that she wasn't wrong.

"I should go," he muttered, pushing his plate of food aside.

"Whoa, wait a minute, why?" inquired Felicia.

"Jensen, if you move from that chair I will throw your ass in the pool fully dressed," threatened Genevieve. "Don't you dare let that asshole chase you off."

Jensen was taken aback when Genevieve all but demanded he stay at the table with them, even though he was getting immense unwelcome vibes from the other table. He gritted his teeth, feeling a bit whipped, but Genevieve was right, there was no reason for him to let Jeff chase him off when he hadn't actually done a damn thing.

"Ah, so that's how it is," said Felicia, nodding and stealing a bite of food off of Gen's plate.

"That guy is a bonafide pompous asshole," huffed Genevieve, completely oblivious to Felicia's theft. "He's never created anything himself to make the wealth that he has, it has all come from him being in the right place at the right time and getting his hands on the right person to get what he wants."

Jensen cringed inwardly, feeling a bit sick to his stomach at the thought of just what that meant for Jared.

Jared sucked in a breath as Jeff released his grip on his fork in order to crush Jared’s wrist in the vise grip of his fist when his boyfriend realized his attention was wandering.

“Keep that up, Jared, and I’ll have him removed,” he said, pitching his voice just low enough that it remained between the two of them. “Don’t make me remind you of what happened to Stephen.”

Jared gritted his teeth and pried his gaze away from the man with the green eyes that he’d seen earlier in the day as Jeff had dragged him onto this sea bound prison. He remembered Stephen all too clearly. He’d been a nice guy, kind, friendly, willing to help Jared get his strength back after the way one of Jeff’s horses had bucked him off, breaking his leg and nearly trampling him. Stephen had been great and his therapy and nutrition appointments had gradually become a highlight to Jared’s day despite some of the foods the health nut had coaxed him into trying. Stephen had been a friend, a sunflower in a world that for Jared was slowly but surely losing all color and light thanks to Jeffrey. The personal trainer had never been a threat romantically or sexually to Jeff, though Jared wouldn’t have minded if he had been since the young man was well-built and easy on the eyes. Stephen had also been straight as an arrow and had a beautiful wife named Cassandra who he chatted with Jared about frequently since they’d finally managed to conceive a child. 

Everything had been great until the day Jeff had come home and found Stephen helping him to walk around without any crutches or cane, just him. It was a significant step forward for Jared, for getting his mobility back after being laid up for close to a month, but in a blink that all went to hell. Jeffrey had been livid and had mistaken Stephen’s professional assistance for something else entirely. The two had fought, verbally and physically, and it hadn’t been pretty. Jared squeezed his eyes shut as he recalled the amount of blood that had been all over the floor and the furniture as well as Stephen’s face and muscle shirt. He remembered screaming himself hoarse to try and get Jeff to stop before he beat the guy to death. He’d ended up calling 911 though he hadn’t been able to tell them what was going on, just left the line open to where they could hear Jeff bellowing and the meaty sound of his fist connecting with various parts of Stephen. He’d sustained multiple contusions and bruises, a broken nose and both eyes had been blackened as a result of Jeff’s rage. Jeffrey, on the other hand, had bloodied knuckles and a bruised jaw from the one time Stephen had managed to nail him with a lucky punch at the beginning of the brawl. Jared wouldn’t have blamed Stephen for pressing charges and vaguely recalled seeing the paperwork on Jeffrey’s desk but as always, Jeff had greased some palms and got away clean as a whistle.

Jared’s punishment after the ambulance and cops had whisked Stephen away had been swift and almost as brutal. It was sheer dumb luck that Jared’s leg hadn’t wound up broken again with the way Jeffrey had manhandled him. He swallowed down the urge to cry in front of the entire restaurant as he remembered silently screaming and crying until his eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears as Jeffrey had struck him over and over again, making his skin burn and his body ache for him to stop. He hadn’t fucked him, but instead he’d backhanded Jared’s dick repeatedly till it was bright red and hard then had forced his own cock into Jared’s mouth. He could still smell the bitter tang of Jeff’s sweat and spunk as the man had come all over his face and hair, marking him and smacking his cheeks with his cock until it had softened. He’d left Jared there in bed, an aching and sobbing mess, with the threat that if he even tried to jack off or clean himself up before he came back from his meeting that the punishment would be even more severe.

He sucked in a breath as Jeff’s grip on him tightened even further to the point where he almost allowed a whimper to break from his throat but he fought it down, not wanting to give the heartless bastard the satisfaction even though he knew Jeff could tell how much pain he was causing.

“I mean it, Jared, don’t think I won’t get rid of him,” growled Jeff. “There’s no emergency line out here, no paramedics and cops to come to his aid before I put out his lights.”

Jared swallowed hard and nodded despite the way it made him almost sick enough inside to throw up what little food he’d managed to force down. What little desire and interest he’d managed to muster while watching the handsome young man with his two female friends quickly wilted when Jeff eased his grip on his arm and instead reached down to stroke his thigh in a pantomime of love and desire.

“Good boy,” he said, ignoring Jared’s repulsion as he returned to his dinner.

Jared opened his eyes and glanced over at Jeffrey as the man’s hand eased away then turned his attention to his own plate before pushing it away, appetite gone.

Across the dining room, Jensen found himself doing the same thing, pushing his plate away as he tried to fight the nausea that was suddenly churning in his gut the longer he remained in the room with Jared and Jeff.

“You okay, Jensen? You’re looking a little green in the gills,” commented Felicia, her next bite of baked beans halfway between the plate and her mouth.

“I’m okay,” he rasped. “I’ll be okay.”

Felicia shrugged and finished her bite of food while Genevieve got up and headed back over to the buffet, coming back with what looked like soda crackers from the salad bar and a couple of bottled waters.

“Here,” she murmured, passing him the crackers and water. “It’s what I gave Felicia when I first took her on a cruise to help her with sea sickness.”

“Thanks.”

He tore open the crackers and cracked open the water, indulging her remedies even though sea sickness wasn’t the cause. He’d spent plenty of time on boats with his friends growing up and had never gotten sick even once, not even when he’d had more than his fair share of beer in his belly. This sickness stemmed from the negative energy radiating off the couple at the other table like stench from a cankerous sore. He forced himself to swallow the salty crackers, chasing it with the water to fight off the lingering nausea in the hopes of sticking it out long enough for either the ladies or Jeff to finish their meal since he had a feeling that these negative vibes were part of what had put Jared so off his food to the point where he looked like a scarecrow. He could tell when the other couple left by the way Genevieve’s eyes tracked the pair, though she kept her head down, feigning interest in finishing her burger followed by the way the tension that had built in her shoulders eased.

“Talk about a damsel in distress,” she muttered, then sighed heavily. “Problem is any white knight who tries would likely get roasted by that damn dragon.”

Jensen inhaled deeply then exhaled a slow soothing breath as he felt the negative energy in the room ebb to a level he could more easily cope with. He turned slightly in his chair to try and catch one last glimpse of Jared before he disappeared from sight.

“There’s always a bigger dragon,” he murmured without really thinking about it.

“Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but I don’t think you’re quite a big enough dragon to contend with big ole Smaug there,” chuckled Felicia.

“Smaug, shit, he makes Drogon seem like a pussycat and that’s saying something,” countered Genevieve.

Jensen’s lips curved in a slight smile even though a part of him could feel the fear radiating off of both girls as well as the handsome young man that just walked away. He finished eating slowly, knowing he was going to need every ounce of physical strength he could get in order to make it through what was supposed to be his vacation.

 _‘Some vacation,’_ he thought, wondering just what Misha would think once he told him the whole story about Jared and Jeff and the vibes he was getting both from them directly as well as through the cards. Once he’d popped his last bite in his mouth, he got to his feet, clearing the ladies' empty dishes as well as his own and dropping them off before bidding them both good night. One thing he felt sure about, he probably wouldn’t encounter Jared and his attack dog boyfriend en route back to his cabin, not after what Genevieve had said about Jeff. He likely had Jared locked away in some sort of penthouse cabin where the young man could watch everything from inside his glass and metal cage but nothing could tamper with Jeff’s latest prize. With that in mind, he made a stop in the onboard internet café, making a note of the fee that’d be added to his bill for using the on-board Wi-Fi already, figuring it was worth it to find out more about Jeff and Jared and their relationship if he was going to attempt even the vaguest hope of rescuing those sad hazel eyes from having to deal with anymore pain.

He found the Padalecki winery and smiled at the family photos that littered the web page of Jared with his parents and two siblings, feeling an almost eerie echo at how similar they were to his own. The Jared in those pictures was very different than the young man he’d seen upstairs though, much happier and healthier, which suggested that it was Jeff’s entry into his life that had screwed Jared up so badly. His fears were confirmed when he pulled up pictures of the two of them from the online equivalent of the Texas high society pages where they’d been attending various charity events and business functions that Jeff was involved in. Jeff’s grip on Jared was always painfully possessive and tight much like Jensen had seen up on deck and in the dining room and Jared’s eyes were always either downcast or seemed to stare out almost vacantly from the photos like he was trying desperately to contain his emotions so that no one would suspect what was going on. He sighed and shook his head, swiping his palm down over his mouth as he studied the dates from the various events realizing that Jared had been at Jeff’s mercy for over a year now, almost two, and there was already gossip floating around in the more current stuff about things getting serious between them.

“God, no,” he muttered, already able to picture the headlines if those two were to take advantage of the new rules laid down by the Supreme Court and get legally wed.

Exhaustion began to gradually weigh heavily on Jensen and he wound up mousing over the print command for a few of the more recent articles, particularly one for an assault that had made the papers but had a retraction attached to the end. He stowed them in his pocket and clicked out of the browser, clearing the history before heading back down into the bowels of the ship to make his way to his cabin. Despite his weariness, he could feel his fingers twitch as soon as he got into the room, his cards calling out to him whether he wanted to read them or not. He was barely aware of what he was doing as he closed the door behind him, locking it securely before he crossed to where he’d stowed his cards. His eyes slipped shut and he felt the energy take over as he unwrapped and shuffled the cards completely by feel. This was different from the reading he’d done earlier when he’d first been settling in; he had no control over the cards that he slapped down on the table in front of him one by one in a classic cross spread.

“Eight of Spades…danger,” he murmured under his breath to himself, “King of Diamonds…the bastard…Jeff. Six of Diamonds…trouble in paradise, literally.”

He couldn’t help the way his lips pulled into a tight scowl at the King of Diamonds, easily able to picture Jared’s abusive boyfriend Jeffrey in place of the King with his jewel studded outfit. His guts twisted as he shifted his attention to the next face card in the spread, knowing without a doubt who it symbolized, both earlier when it’d turned up as well as now.

“Jack of Hearts…Jared,” he said softly, almost reverently.

He allowed his fingers to brush against the card, tempted to remove it from the deck and keep it close to his heart where it belonged. He shook his head to clear that thought away, realizing that his instincts toward the cards were manifestations of how he felt about things in reality. He took a deep cleansing breath and continued to follow the spread, almost afraid of where this was all going despite his brave words to Genevieve and Felicia.

“Five of Spades…negativity, depression,” he continued, “Five of Hearts…jealousy and ill will from those around me. Heh, no shit, dammit. The Three of Spades…an outsider breaking into a relationship.”

He swallowed hard as he took in the last three cards, feeling both elated and terrified in the same breath when he realized they were all from the suite of Hearts which tended to be all about love and relationships.

“Ace of Hearts…love and happiness, Eight of Hearts…an unexpected gift or visit,” he mused, “And the Two of Hearts…an engagement, but whose, theirs or…”

He felt exhaustion take over his body again now that he’d finished reading the cards, the tapping of that energy leaving him even more drained than he’d already been. He pushed away from the desk and staggered slightly over to his bags, pulling out the small moleskine he kept close for moments like this. He pulled out the pen and hurriedly scribbled the spread down so that he could refer back to it later before putting both the notebook and the cards away. He sighed and sat down heavily on the bed, feeling like he was treading water just to shed his shirt and jeans let alone kick off his sneakers. He groaned as he pulled himself further up the bed and he didn’t even turn back the covers as his head hit the pillows, sleep taking him under quickly.

Despite how quickly sleep found him, his mind didn’t totally shut down as it shifted into dreamland mode. Jensen blinked, somewhat disoriented at finding himself in the corridor outside his cabin in the near dark. He knew he had to be dreaming considering the lights never went out on ships like these anymore, not unless there was a disaster of Titanic proportions in the offing. He looked around and found the door that he figured would take him back to the safety of his cabin, tugging at the handle only for it not to budge.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “What kind of nightmare is this?”

Even though it went against every self preservation instinct he had, he opted to follow the corridor rather than fight with the door, allowing his instincts to guide him where the dream meant for him to go. It had been a long time since he’d had a dream like this, one this vivid to where he was sure he had to be doing what Misha called spirit walking. That realization had him figuring out where he was headed pretty quickly as he found himself at the foot of the stairs he’d climbed earlier with Genevieve and Felicia. He worked his way up through the decks, moving past the ones that housed a lot of the interior activity areas like restaurants, the casino, the various and sundry shops, and the theatre. He made a note of the number of each level as he continued to climb though he knew he likely wouldn’t remember them once he awoke. His body didn’t fatigue even though he was easily five levels up from where he was staying and from the way his gut was still urging him onward he still had a few more to go. He could tell by the more opulent surroundings that he was in the area of the ship where those who had money to throw around stayed which meant that when he finally came to a stop he’d found the gilded cage that Jeffrey was holding Jared hostage in. He laid a hand on the doorknob, expecting it to be locked just like his own, figuring the dream was just to guide him as to where to find the young man if the worst happened. Instead he was surprised when the knob turned and the door opened, allowing Jensen to enter. He almost fled the moment he stepped into the room, able to feel the low, malicious burn of Jeff’s anger and jealousy radiating from everywhere in the room. Surprisingly the room was in picture perfect shape, no broken furniture or knick knacks, no sign of a fight of any kind that would leave such a dark residue behind.

‘Not every fight has to be a brawl,’ he reminded himself as he worked his way through the living room and dining area, heading for the bedroom only to stop when he saw him standing outside on the balcony.

He felt a frisson of fear go through him for a moment before he resumed his original trajectory, wanting to see if that was really Jared or if it was just his spirit walking like Jensen’s. He exhaled a sigh of relief when he found Jared’s body curled up tightly beneath the gaudy bedclothes with Jeffrey spooned up against his back so close there was no denying what the bastard had likely been doing before they’d fallen asleep. He turned his attention back to Jared’s spirit, knowing that if it was standing out on the balcony while Jared’s physical body was asleep in bed that he was no more at rest than Jensen was tonight. He opened the balcony door carefully, not wanting to startle the ghostly image of Jared and cause him to either go into shock or wake up thinking he was having a nightmare. If he had to guess, Jared had learned how to do this by accident as a way of retreating, of escaping the abuse that Jeff heaped upon his body.

“Hello,” he murmured.

The image fluttered in and out of being for a moment then steadily solidified as Jared turned to look at him with those sweet, sad eyes.

“You shouldn’t be here,” responded Jared. “If he realizes you’re here, he’ll…”

“He won’t, he won’t find us here, Jared,” assured Jensen. “He wouldn’t know how to reach this plane.”

“Plane? I don’t…I don’t understand.”

“You’re asleep, Jared, and so am I,” he explained. “When the body sleeps, the spirit can walk around on its own and in my case I was drawn to you.”

Jared’s eyes widened at first and the young man looked around; taking in the soft blue white cast that seemed to permeate the spirit world they were in. He sighed heavily with relief as he finally was able to put a name to this refuge he’d discovered. He smiled weakly as he returned his gaze to the man on the balcony with him, the handsome man with the green eyes that had made him feel like there was more to his life than being trapped with Jeff.

“Y-y-your name, tell me your name, please,” he requested softly, “I’ve…I’ve been thinking about you ever since…well, since I saw you there at the rails looking at me like you could save me from drowning in this life.”

“Jensen, my name is Jensen,” he murmured, “And I’ll do anything I can to save you.”

He swallowed hard, his heart twisting and aching in his chest as he realized Jared likely wouldn’t remember him once he awoke, especially not his name and in some ways he knew that was likely for the best. He approached Jared cautiously, like he’d seen Chris do with a horse that wasn’t totally used to being around people yet. He was surprised when he managed to stand toe to toe with the young man and get a good look at him. He hadn’t realized just how much taller than him Jared was thanks to the way he’d been slouching so much but the kid had to have at least two to three inches on him. And he was definitely a kid, both compared to himself and Jeffrey. He had to be in his late twenties, early thirties at most by Jensen’s estimation. He licked at his lips as he gazed up into Jared’s eyes and he couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and cup that slightly sunken cheek, running his thumb along the bone lightly. He watched Jared’s eyes slip closed as the young man leaned into his touch, his lips brushing against Jensen’s palm for a hot second before Jared’s eyes snapped open, realizing what he’d done.

“Oh God,” murmured Jared.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” assured Jensen.

Despite his efforts to comfort Jared, tears still welled up in Jared’s eyes, spilling down along his gaunt cheeks.

“No, it’s not okay, it’s not safe,” mumbled Jared, retreating from Jensen. “He’ll hurt you, he’ll hurt them, and when there’s nothing left…”

“Jared…”

“Go, just go…please go,” he demanded hoarsely, turning away toward the railings again.

Jensen stared at Jared’s back with a heavy ache in his chest at how the young man was pushing him away. The stubborn part of him was tempted to stay, to linger as long as his sleeping mind would allow, but he knew that if he stayed it wouldn’t make things better.

“I’ll go,” he murmured, approaching cautiously again and laying his hand against Jared’s shoulder, “but remember this, if you’re in danger, if you need somewhere to hide from him, come find me.”

He closed his eyes and willed for that message at least to bury itself in Jared’s psyche, that Jensen would protect him and keep him safe if he could. He waited until Jared looked back at him and brought his hand up to rest on top of Jensen’s, his scrawny fingers brushing across Jensen’s knuckles.

“Okay,” whispered Jared.

Jensen sighed and nodded, reluctantly pulling his hand away before turning to head inside and back through the cabin to the door. He looked back one last time, memorizing the sight of Jared on that balcony, staring out at the night sky, long brown hair being whipped by the breeze. He bit his lip, fighting the urge to drag Jared’s spirit with him as he headed out of the room and back into the maze of corridors. He worked his way back down through the sleeping ship, finding his way back to his cabin and returning to his body to sleep away the rest of the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen could feel the after effects of his nighttime walkabout the next morning when he awoke to his whole body just aching from head to toe. He contemplated spending the day in his room, recuperating, but the knocking on his door begged to differ with him.

“What the fuck?” he grumbled, forcing himself to move and get to his feet.

He staggered across the cabin like he was hungover even though he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol yet since he’d boarded. He grabbed at various pieces of furniture and nearly fell over when he released the desk chair in favor of the doorknob. He growled and scowled at the chair, cursing it for existing before finally managing to turn the knob and open the door.

“Good mor-whoa, what the hell happened to you?” said Felicia, cheerily at first until she got a good look at Jensen.

“Well, look who decided to join the living,” teased Genevieve.

Jensen fought down the urge to glare at the tiny twosome for spoiling his efforts to simply stay in bed but wound up shooting an extra ugly scowl Genevieve’s direction until she pressed a cup of coffee into his hand.

“You missed breakfast, we got worried since you didn’t seem like that type of guy,” she explained, “Figured we’d grab you a cup or two of wake up juice and make sure you were okay.”

“Frankly you look like you went a couple of rounds with The Rock and then tried to out drink him at the bar,” added Felicia.

Jensen quirked a brow at the girls wondering when and how they’d gotten to be good enough friends for them to know he needed coffee to jump start his body and to be concerned about him not showing up for food. He glanced back into his room at the cards wondering if this was part of whatever the universe had going for him. He grunted his thanks then took a couple of long swigs of coffee to ease the way his whole body was throbbing before trying to talk to them.

“I’m okay,” he said hoarsely, “I’m used to this.”

“Well, if you feel up to it, we were about to head up to the pool to swim for awhile or at least she is,” said Genevieve, tipping her head toward Felicia. “I’m thinking of soaking up some rays and wouldn’t mind having some company while she pretends to be freakin’ Ariel.”

Jensen’s brow creased and he blinked a couple of times before his brain fully came online and registered that both girls were wearing bikinis and semi-transparent cover ups as well as having beach bags hanging from their arms. He considered Genevieve’s offer and glanced back at his mangled bed sheets having a feeling that despite the temptation to stay in that some time in the warm sun might do his battered psyche some good.

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he mumbled, nodding, “Um, go on up and save me a chair.”

Genevieve eyed him with a mix of skepticism and barely muted concern, noting the bags under his eyes that made it look like he hadn’t slept a wink. She was almost tempted to stick around and make sure he got dressed or at the very least swapped out the boxers he was currently wearing for a pair of swim trunks rather than climb back in bed even with the coffee running through the guy’s veins.

“If you’re not there in thirty minutes I’m giving up my seat and coming down here to get you, Freckles,” she warned.

Jensen was taken aback by the mouth on Genevieve as well as the new moniker she’d laid on him, beginning to see just who likely wore the pants in her and Felicia’s relationship.

“Okay, okay, I’ll be there, promise,” he sighed.

Genevieve wavered then nodded and slid an arm around Felicia’s waist, tickling her through her cover up.

“C’mon Ariel, let’s go swimming,” she teased, pinching her girlfriend on the butt before guiding her toward the stairs up to the pool deck.

Jensen closed the door once the girls had gone, sagging against it and taking another healthy swig of coffee to try and get him up and moving. The girls were right, he needed to do something, anything to take his mind off of what a failure at life he was shaping up to be in spite of the guidance of the cards. He pushed away from the door and headed for his luggage, toeing his way out of his socks in the process. It didn’t take long for him to trade boxers for board shorts and slide into an old standby pair of sandals and he was just about to head out the door when he felt a tug pull him back. He looked back at his desk and bit at his lip, debating whether to heed the cards' pull when he was already feeling so depleted. In the end he grabbed both the wrapped cards and his notebook and pen, wrapping all of it up in a towel so that he wouldn’t lose anything. He finished off the coffee Genevieve and Felicia had brought so that he’d feel more human before venturing out into the corridors. 

He was struck with a fleeting sense of déjà vu at the foot of the stairs and wound up caving in to the temptation of the elevator. His gaze still fixated on the numbers as they climbed higher and he rubbed away the goosebumps that pebbled up along his arms when they passed the suites level. The doors finally opened on the next level up, dropping him off so close to the pool where the girls were waiting that he could smell the acrid scent of chlorine combined with the sweet smell of coconut tan oil and lotion. The latter had Jensen kicking himself considering the pale skin and freckles he’d been born with didn’t typically agree with a lot of exposure to the sun. He thought about turning tail and running back to the refuge of his stateroom to at least grab a t-shirt or something but as he watched some of the other occupants of the ship walk by looking more like Genevieve and Felicia had, he had a feeling he’d look out of place or at the very least like he was even shyer than he liked to think he was. He sucked it up and resigned himself to turning into a lobster at worst or at best having to use whatever frilly scented sunscreen the girls might have had in their beach bags. As he headed out onto the pool deck, he searched for his newfound friends among the multitude of people who’d laid claim to the loungers as well as the ones swimming. He spotted Felicia pretty quickly, her red hair hard to miss even soaking wet, flipping back and making her really look like the Little Mermaid like Genevieve had teasingly called her. Judging by the grin on her face Felicia had spotted him too despite the crowds and waved exuberantly before swimming over to the edge where he managed to meet her.

“You made it!” she said cheerfully, “Gen’s somewhere over there, next to the Blue Iguana bar, think she’s contemplating the merits of the saying ‘it’s five o’clock somewhere’.”

Jensen chuckled at Felicia’s excitement and glanced off in the direction she’d been gesturing, managing to eventually pick the mermaid’s dark haired girlfriend out of the crowd. He noted how Genevieve seemed to be trying to juggle some sort of kooky umbrella drink as well as a rough around the edges paperback that she had her thumb tucked into as a bookmark and with a quick wave to Felicia, headed her way to keep her from mixing the two in a bad way.

“Here, let me take that off your hands,” he said gently, easing the frou-frou drink from her fingers.

“Thanks, I was standing in line reading while I waited and didn’t quite finish the page before the blender was done,” chuckled Genevieve, moving to dog ear her page and tuck the novel under her arm before reclaiming her drink.

She took a sip and smacked her lips at the sweet tartness before eying Jensen’s towel bundle.

“Looks like you’re all set, follow me, I’ve got a couple loungers saved over here,” she said, motioning for Jensen to come along.

“What in the hell are you drinking?” he inquired as they wound their way through the mass of sunbathers, “and do you have any sunscreen you could spare? I have some in my luggage but I didn’t even think to bring it up with me.”

“Sure, I always keep plenty on hand, not so much for me but for Felicia, her skin would match her hair otherwise,” she responded. “And the bartender called it a Sexy Bitch and so far it’s living up to the name.”

Jensen’s brows rose to his hairline and he couldn’t quite suppress the chuckle that escaped him at how apt Felicia would likely find that purple frosty cocktail to be for her girlfriend.

“Just don’t get so plastered that Felicia and I have to carry you back downstairs,” he teased.

“Oh wow, wouldn’t that be quite a show,” retorted Genevieve with a laugh. “You’d have both guys and girls swooning.”

She grinned and set the umbrella drink aside on the small table between the two loungers she’d laid claim to for them and promptly dove into her beach bag, producing a good sized bottle of unscented sport sunscreen.

“Here you go, oughta’ do the trick and keep you from getting more freckles than you already have,” she teased.

Jensen carefully unfolded his towel and set his cards and notebook cautiously on the table with Genevieve’s drink while he spread it out to act as padding between himself and the lounger. He turned slightly and accepted the bottle of sunscreen from Genevieve before sitting down on his lounger, popping the cap and quickly squirting some into his hand so that he could get some protection on his skin from the way the sun was beating down on them.

“So, speaking of drinks, did you go drown your sorrows in some bar before bed last night?” inquired Genevieve, plucking her drink from the table and settling back in her chaise. “Because I can’t honestly think of another reason for why you looked like such a zombie this morning after how with it you were when you left last night.”

“Heh, I wish, might’ve been better off if I had,” murmured Jensen ruefully, rubbing the sunscreen into his freckled flesh.

“Didn’t sleep well?”

Jensen shrugged in response; unsure just how much faith he could put in someone like Genevieve. Most people were skeptical when he told them about what he could do and others just thought he was downright crazy for believing in anything even vaguely resembling magic or psychic abilities like something out of a comic book. He could feel the weight of her dark brown eyes on him, studying him like a puzzle that she just couldn’t quite piece together. He tried to ignore it and focus on rubbing the lotion into his skin until he got to his back, sighing as he finally looked up at her.

“What?” he inquired frustratedly.

“Nothing, I’m just wondering what a good looking guy like you is doing out here hanging with two dykes rather than chasing some tail of his own,” she responded. “Hell after the way you and Padalecki were making eyes at each other last night I half expected you to storm the castle and slay the dragon but…”

Jensen tensed at the mention of Jared, vague memories of moonlight and tears floating back through his head. It was rare for him to remember anything when his spirit went wandering like it had last night, usually it took Misha putting him under some degree of hypnosis or doing a reading with the cards to bring any of it to the surface but somehow with just the mention of that young man’s name he was right back there again on the balcony. He squeezed his eyes tight shut for a moment, forcing his emotions down and reining them in so that they wouldn’t cloud his judgment. He startled when he felt a small, delicate hand on his knee and found himself staring into Gen’s chocolate eyes.

“Jensen, what’s wrong?”

He swallowed hard and wiped his hands off on his board shorts then reached for the deck of cards he’d brought with him. He didn’t quite have the words to explain, not without showing her something first to try and make her believe he wasn’t crazy.

“You’re going to think I’m nuts,” he murmured softly, “but…well….”

He unwrapped the cards from their black velvet and began shuffling them without a second thought, feeling them tugging both at his energy and Genevieve’s as he worked the cards between his hands deftly. He didn’t stop until the cards told him to then drew in a deep breath as he held the deck out to her.

“Take the top card and turn it over,” he instructed.

Genevieve’s brow furrowed and her lips turned down in a frown as she eyed the cards in Jensen’s hands. She didn’t understand what the guy was playing at here but she could tell by the intensity in his eyes that this wasn’t meant as some kind of joke or casual parlor trick. She reached out hesitantly and turned over the top most card, half expecting it to be something dire like the death card in a tarot deck. She was actually pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be just a normal set of playing cards with just pretty backs to them. At least she thought they were normal until she watched Jensen’s lips curve into a slight smile as he nodded, looking from the card to her and then back.

“The Queen of Clubs,” mused Jensen, “It suits you, a strong, confident woman who knows what she wants in life and isn’t afraid to go after it. But she can also be cool, aloof, almost to the point of being like Elsa from Frozen without someone to draw her out of her shell.”

He glanced toward the pool where Felicia was chatting animatedly with a couple of youngsters that had floated over then returned his gaze, noting the way Genevieve’s eyes softened like a Hershey’s kiss in the summer sun with fondness as she watched her girlfriend.

“She’s good for you, don’t let her go,” he added, nodding.

Genevieve pulled her eyes away from Felicia and eyed Jensen skeptically, unsure how this guy she barely knew seemed to have seen right into her heart and soul.

“How…who…I don’t get it,” she murmured, shaking her head.

“Well, that’s a better reaction than some people have had when I read them,” chuckled Jensen ruefully, setting the cards aside to finish covering his skin in sunscreen. “I’m psychic, Genevieve, not some con artist on the other end of the phone telling you bullshit to keep you talking so that you have to pay more but the real deal.”

Her eyes went wide and she openly gawked at him, unsure how to respond to Jensen being so candid about his supposed ability to read people because he was psychic. She toyed with the ends of her dark hair, not knowing whether to believe him or not despite how spot on he’d been about her personality.

“What…what would happen if I pull another card?” she inquired warily.

“Don’t know, it’ll depend on what card it is, sometimes the cards tell me things about others, sometimes myself,” he confided. “Sometimes they tell me what I want to hear and sometimes not, it all depends on what message the universe wants to deliver.”

Genevieve eyed Jensen’s deck of cards with the Queen of Clubs still facing upward, debating whether or not she wanted to see what the next card in the stack would be. She bit at her lip nervously and continued to toy with her hair before she finally worked up the courage to move the Queen aside and flip over the next card down.

“Queen of Hearts…Felicia,” mused Jensen with a soft smile playing at his lips, “Your other half…warm hearted, able to see the good in people without even thinking about it.”

Genevieve looked from the cards to Jensen and back then laid down the Queen of Hearts next to the one of Clubs and drew the next card in the stack.

“Nine of Hearts…wishes and dreams coming true,” he murmured, answering Genevieve’s curiosity, “You two will live happily ever after just like the fairy tales Felicia likes.”

“Okay, that…now that’s spooky,” said Genevieve, setting the last card down and pulling away, drink in hand. “There’s no way you could know that just from some deck of playing cards.”

“You called her Ariel and she didn’t bristle at it, if anything it made her happy even though it probably worries her that you see her as kind of a kid at times,” explained Jensen. “Mermaids and princesses are the stuff of fairy tales, same as dragons and knights in shining armor. All of which tells me that she’s fond of that and that fondness has rubbed off on you from being with her.”

Genevieve took a sip of her Sexy Bitch then set it aside again to rub away the goosebumps that rose along her arms from the chill that’d gone through her body not just from the drink. She kept her arms crossed over her body somewhat protectively, feeling like she wanted to hide from whatever Jensen was managing to pick up on.

“How long have you been doing this?” she inquired hesitantly.

“Honestly, since I was born, at least the reading people part, the cards came later,” he responded. “Pissed off my teachers at school and freaked out my dad but my mom knew, she understood. It runs in her family from time to time.”

“Time to time? Meaning?”

“It sometimes skips a generation or two, far as my mom knows I’m the only one living right now, my maternal grandfather was the last one before me. And it’s not gender specific, if I had a son or a daughter either one of them could have it so long as my DNA is involved, it’s wired into the genes.”

Jensen frowned as he finished applying the sunscreen to his body and cleaned his hands off again, wiping them on the towel instead of his shorts this time.

“Funny enough, that was one thing that helped make my dad and his religious ways okay with me,” he said dryly, thinking back to that particular showdown. “Since I hit him with the double whammy of being both gay and psychic he told me that the knowledge that I couldn’t pass on either flaw to his grandchildren made it easier for him to accept me.”

“Ouch, that’s a big whopping load of bullshit,” huffed Genevieve. “Shit, if you find someone you want to have babies with just give me a call, we can swap test tubes and really fuck with his head.”

Now it was Jensen’s turn to gawk at the petite woman sitting opposite him, finding it hard to believe that after knowing him only a day she was offering up a piece of herself in order to give him kids if he ever wanted them in return for a little bit of himself, despite his “flaws” so that she and Felicia could have the same. He moved forward without even thinking about it, reaching out and pulling Genevieve into a quick but tight hug before letting her go.

“Thank you, I don’t know what I did to deserve such a gift or if I’ll ever be able to take you up on your end of it but still, thank you,” he murmured.

“What can I say, you’re growing on me, Jensen,” she said with a shrug. “You’re a good guy, a little strange and spooky, but a good guy. Felicia never would’ve grabbed you if you weren’t.”

Jensen smiled warmly and felt his cheeks flush slightly at just how much Genevieve meant that as a compliment. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders that made it easier for him to relax as he shifted to lie back on the lounger on top of his towel. He reached for the notebook he’d brought with his cards and flipped it open, wanting to make a couple of notes before he shuffled the cards Genevieve had pulled back into the deck. He was slightly stunned when he spotted his reading from the night before, particularly the Eight of Hearts. He didn’t know whether it made him feel better or worse that the card’s message had come to pass or at least part of it had considering the way the girls had knocked on his door this morning and then Genevieve’s offer when it came to children. He pushed those thoughts aside and made his notes then set the notebook aside, trading it out for the deck of cards and shuffling them once more to put the cards back away in the deck before setting the deck aside. He could feel Genevieve watching him even though she’d shifted to lie back as well, drink still firmly in hand for her to sip slowly.

“Thought you were reading a book,” he jabbed somewhat playfully, beginning to feel slightly awkward under her scrutiny.

“I was, but right now you’re more interesting,” she responded. “Not to mention after what you just shared with me I’m starting to wonder if that’s part of why you were such a zombie this morning especially after what happened in the dining room last night.”

Jensen tensed, feeling the relaxation that’d begun to settle over him vanish in a moment when he thought about Jared. He squeezed his eyes shut against the bombardment of sudden flashbacks, of the dark corridors, Jeffrey in bed with Jared, Jared and himself on the balcony. He debated for a moment over how to explain it to Genevieve in a way she’d understand just like he had with the cards.

“It was,” he admitted softly. “I had a dream last night…a very vivid dream. And I saw him, saw them. I talked to him.”

_‘But he probably won’t ever remember,’_ he thought morosely.

“Oh wow,” murmured Genevieve, “Did you…y’know.”

“What? No! No, it…it wasn’t like that,” said Jensen, almost sputtering at what Genevieve was implying. “I can’t…he’s out of my reach, Genevieve, even in dreams like that.”

“What happened to what you said last night, about there always being a bigger dragon?”

“That was last night and besides, I’m definitely not a dragon,” he huffed.

Genevieve sighed and rolled her eyes at Jensen’s excuses considering not even ten minutes ago he’d been telling her things about herself and Felicia that no one in their right mind should have known.

“How can you be what you are and still be so dense?” she retorted.

“Because it’s not that simple,” answered Jensen. “Because I came out here to get away from this sort of thing not walk right back into it. Shit, what I’ve walked into makes what I left look like a fuckin’ picnic really.”

“Oh really? What happened?” she inquired, turning onto her side so that she could watch his face while he talked. “I mean, you don’t exactly seem devastated because you’re not playing emo music and eating ice cream while thinking of getting a cat by being here on a cruise.”

“Yeah and no, I mean…I saw it coming but that didn’t make the bomb any less painful when it dropped, y’know,” he murmured. “I kept poking at it and poking at it, reading the cards and hoping the answer would change but it didn’t and when that happened….”

He grunted in disgust at himself, at the situation he’d been in, at how he’d been so damn blind to Richard’s faults in those first couple of months that he’d actually had the naiveté to start thinking of building a life with the guy.

“He was a sex addict, I confronted him with what I’d been seeing in the cards and he confessed,” he continued. “I never would’ve pictured it from him until I met a couple of the other guys he’d been seeing and even more surprising was that unlike most addicts, he put effort into making sure that he wouldn’t share anything between us.”

“Seriously? Nobody thought to question why he refused to go bare?” said Genevieve, quirking a brow and taking a sip of her drink.

“It honestly never came up, we just all thought he was a nut for safety considering…y’know,” said Jensen with a shrug. “What’s even crazier is we’re still kind of friends but there’s no way in hell I’d take him back, not in a million years.”

“And I bet you still went and got tested after he ‘fessed up didn’t you?”

“You bet I did, wasn’t taking any chances.”

Genevieve hummed thoughtfully, beginning to understand now why he was pushing away this chance to be someone else’s knight in shining armor with both hands so eagerly. She thought about Jared and the way he’d been looking at Jensen and the way Jensen had looked back at the kid, the two of them getting so lost in each other that everyone else might as well have not even been in the room. She continued to sip on her drink while eying Jensen thoughtfully then glancing out at the pool where Felicia was swimming toward the edge.

“Y’know how you said I should hang on to Felicia and not let her go?” she prodded, waiting till he was squinting at her to continue, “Same goes for you and that kid, I know that guy you were with bruised your ego and your heart but I saw how Jared looked at you last night and you at him. That guy’s a drowning man in need of a life preserver and that’s you. So gird your loins and strap on that sword, Sir Jensen because you’ve got a dragon to slay.”

Jensen couldn’t help the deep, warm laugh that escaped him at the image Genevieve painted of him as a knight with a sword taking on Jeffrey the dragon. It was a great idea in theory but then Genevieve hadn’t seen the pain and fear that Jensen had in Jared’s eyes last night, hadn’t watched him give in to the craving for a gentler touch that demanded nothing in return only to push it away. His laughter ebbed away slowly as melancholy took its place and he thought about the pages he’d found online the night before.

“I think I’m too late for that, Genevieve,” he mused softly.

“Too late for what?” inquired Felicia, plopping her wet body down on the chaise lounge next to her girlfriend.

“Too late to save the damsel in distress he was making cupid eyes at last night,” sighed Genevieve.

She set her drink aside and moved to sit up slightly, leaning up to give Felicia a quick adoring peck before grimacing at the taste of her girlfriend’s skin.

“Ugh, chlorine and sunscreen,” she gagged.

“Sorry,” giggled Felicia, “And why’s he too late to rescue Jared? I mean I know he’s involved with that other guy but he’s not engaged.”

“Yet,” sighed Jensen. “Though that’s what everyone’s speculating if what I saw online was anything to go by. Shit, that could be the whole reason they’re here, the bastard trying to butter him up to say yes when he gets down on one knee.”

“So? Engaged doesn’t mean married and even if they were to get married, there’s that whole speak now or forever hold your peace bit. You can make like the Graduate and sweep him away just in time,” countered Felicia, punctuating it with a romantic sigh.

Jensen couldn’t help smiling at Felicia’s optimism and felt his own mood lift a little bit just from the red headed pixie being around.

“True,” he murmured, “I just gotta hope he’s willing to make a run for it.”

“He will,” assured Genevieve. “He’d be an idiot not to despite whatever Jeff’s holding over him.”

Jensen grimaced, thinking back to what Jared had said the night before and the pages he’d printed out about the assault case that had been dropped.

“Do either of you remember hearing anything about a guy named Stephen Amell?” he inquired. “I found something about him pressing charges against Jeffrey but then dropping them.”

Felicia’s usually chipper expression waned and she glanced down at Genevieve then back at Jensen before she spoke.

“Cassandra told me about that, we go to the same gym back home,” she murmured. “He didn’t drop the charges, the cops did.”

“What? How could they…?”

Jensen sat up from his chair, the sick feeling in his gut returning especially as he replayed Jared’s words to him over and over again.

‘He’ll hurt you, he’ll hurt them, and when there’s nothing left…’

“Shit, shit, shit,” he muttered to himself.

“What? Jensen, what’s wrong?” inquired Genevieve, eyeing Jensen worriedly.

“I knew the prick was well off but not like that, shit, I’m screwed and so is Jared,” sighed Jensen. “If he can get the cops to drop assault charges after he beat a guy up there’s no telling what he’d do to me.”

“He didn’t just beat him up, Stephen was lucky to be still breathing according to Cassandra and she should know, she’s his wife,” added Felicia morosely. “Stephen was just trying to help Jared get better after his accident.”

“What accident?” demanded Jensen, his head snapping up from where he’d been studying his feet and his neck bristling with the urge to give Jeffrey a taste of his own damn medicine.

“I don’t know, Cassandra couldn’t tell me because Stephen never told her, therapist/patient privilege she said,” responded Felicia.

Jensen swallowed hard and swiped a hand over his mouth as he fought down the sudden burst of emotions flooding his bloodstream. He knew it wouldn’t do either he or Jared any good for him to go off half cocked making accusations at the bastard when he had no proof. If he did, Jeffrey would likely just get his ass thrown in the brig for the rest of the cruise for harassing him at the very least and assault at the worst. It just galled him to think of Jared the way he’d seen him last night, so scared and alone and painfully unhappy with where he’d ended up in life. He took a deep breath to steady himself and reached out for his cards, moving to bundle them back up again in the black velvet both to protect them from being polluted with his inner turmoil and pack them up to head back to his cabin or somewhere else.

“I think I need to take a walk,” he muttered.

Genevieve looked at Felicia then back at Jensen, feeling worried about the guy with the way he seemed to have suddenly shut himself off from them.

“Are you sure? Maybe we should go with you,” she offered.

“No, no, I just…I think I need to be alone for awhile,” he responded.

“Okay then,” she said, then reached down into her bag to fetch out her cell phone, handing it over to Jensen once she’d unlocked it.

“Put your number in there,” she ordered, “Just in case, y’know…plus that way we can meet up for dinner again if you want.”

“Ooh, yeah, there’s this sushi bar at the other end of the deck that’d be awesome,” chimed in Felicia. “We can chow down on maki rolls and watch the sun set over cups of sake.”

Jensen smiled weakly at Felicia’s excitement over dinner and caved in to Genevieve’s plan with the cell phone, creating an entry for himself in her address book with his full name, number, and emergency contact in case anything really did end up happening to him. He handed it back to her once he was done and gathered up his things, figuring he’d walk around for a bit and eventually head back down to his cabin to change.

“Have fun with your Sexy Bitch,” he said somewhat teasingly to Genevieve and couldn’t help laughing at the expression on Felicia’s face as he turned to head away, leaving the girls to bask in the sunshine of each other.


	3. Chapter 3

In some respects Jared was shocked the sun was still above the horizon when he finally pried himself from the realm of dreams. He was even more reluctant than usual to wake this time not just because of the way Jeff had abused the hell out of his ass both figuratively and somewhat literally judging by the way his body ached when he moved, but because of the young man who had come to him in his dreams. He remembered the kindness in those green eyes and how his touch had been like a balm to his battered soul. He sighed heavily and allowed his eyes to slip closed again, trying to will himself back to sleep so that he could see his handsome emerald eyed stranger again. He didn’t know what it was about the guy but he made Jared feel more safe and loved than he had in a long time, definitely more than he felt when he was around Jeff despite the promises the guy had made him over and over again. Certain parts of his dream were pretty fuzzy but there was one thing that stood out other than the young man’s appearance and that was what he’d said about Jared seeking him out, that if he needed a safe haven for Jared to seek him out. He smiled wryly to himself and shook that thought away, thinking it was little more than just a figment of his imagination just like the young man in his dreams. Something his mind had cooked up to help him get through the pain of being little more than the latest in a string of Jeff’s possessions. His desire to stay in bed soon vanished when his senses began to wake up and he caught the smell of Jeff’s sweaty body that lingered in the linens along with his own. The reminder of Jeff and the brutal way the man had fucked him last night had bile rising in Jared’s throat and sent him fleeing for the bathroom so that he wouldn’t decorate the gaudy suite Jeff had purchased with his vomit. He wound up crawling across the floor, every muscle in his body complaining at the movement but he was desperate to get away from the smell of himself and Jeff. He flipped up the lid of the toilet once he got there and clung to the porcelain edges as he retched, purging what little remained in his stomach after how he’d picked through his dinner the night before. He lingered there, draped against the toilet as he waited for the gagging feeling to subside. His next stop was the massive bathtub that went with the suite to run a bath so that he could try and scrub himself somewhat clean.

 _‘You’ll never really be clean,’_ his mind supplied and Jared squeezed his eyes tight shut, willing those thoughts away.

He wished he’d known then what he knew now about Jeff and the kind of asshole he was but somehow he had a feeling it wouldn’t have made a difference. What Jeff wanted, Jeff got, and that included making Jared his in exchange for keeping Jared’s parents from being unemployed and homeless. He swallowed hard as he thought about his mom and dad and siblings who as far as he knew were unaware of the level of abuse Jeff inflicted on him. He’d made a fine art of keeping them in the dark, especially that first year that he and Jeff had been together, but as time went on it was becoming more and more difficult.

“If you tell anyone about what we do, Jared, I’ll take everything away,” Jeff had said. “You’re mine now, and I’m not letting you go.”

The memory of the night Jeff had told him that had Jared retching anew into the toilet, remembering how Jeff had pinned him against the bed with his full weight, his hands clamped on his wrists and cock buried to the hilt in his ass. He’d cried himself to sleep that night, face buried in his pillow and body resting in the wet spot left by the release that Jeff had forced from his body. His fate had been sealed that night and now after what’d happened with Stephen he had a feeling he would die still being Jeff’s pampered plaything.

The only reason he fought to stay alive was his family, his parents and siblings who’d be devastated if they lost him. They were the only people who were immune to Jeff’s possessive wrath, everyone else, all of Jared’s friends, people he’d known since he was a little boy, had been cut out of his life with near surgical precision by Jeff’s obsessive possessiveness. His body ached worse than it had when he’d pried his ass out of bed by the time he finally climbed into the tub and attempted to wash away the memory of Jeff’s latest round of abuse. He briefly considered allowing his body to simply slide down into the tub of almost scalding hot water but he forced that thought away with the threat of Jeff bullying the ship’s doctor into resuscitating him and dragging him back from death into this life of pain and misery. He instead focused on thinking about those green eyes from his dream, using that faint, vague memory to sustain him through his bath and the process of locating some clothes to wear. He found a note from Jeff on the bedside table that he’d missed earlier telling him that Jeff was out at the onboard casino and planned to remain there all afternoon. Jeff’s absence from their room was both a relief and meant as a punishment. This was typical of Jeff’s almost bipolar treatment toward Jared on a daily basis, alternating between abusive rage and outright neglect. He remembered reading online once about something called aftercare, back when he’d thought Jeff’s inflicting pain during their sexual escapades was a manifestation of him having an interest in BDSM. It’d taken him awhile to realize that Jeff had no interest in picking up the pieces after the way he shattered Jared physically and emotionally in bed. His relief at Jeff’s absence was short lived as he continued reading, grimacing at what Jeff had in mind for tonight. He crossed to the closet and pushed back the door to reveal the sleek suit that his boyfriend had purchased for him to wear to dinner that evening where they would be seated in the section designated for those in the suite class only. 

_‘Translation, as far away from Mr. Green Eyes as possible,’_ thought Jared sadly, recalling how that had been one of the few highlights of dinner the night before.

He looked at the clock and sighed, realizing that Jeff’s plotting had left him with no chance to go out and explore the ship himself before dinner time. Instead, he settled for pulling on a pair of shorts and a shirt so that he wasn’t walking out onto their private balcony naked. He closed his eyes and drank in the scent of the ocean air as the breeze ruffled through his long hair. He ran his fingers back through his hair, yet another thing that Jeff demanded of him since he wouldn’t allow Jared to go get it cut. He contemplated telling Jeff to take that suit and shove it but he had a feeling he’d wind up worse off than just a sore ass and aching body in reprisal. The longer he beat his proverbial wings against the gilded cage he was entrapped in, the more broken Jared felt and the more depression was starting to gain a foothold in his heart. He moved toward the rail of his balcony, feeling a bit like a certain movie starlet on another giant ship. He gripped the railing and forced himself not to climb over it despite the temptation to just fling himself into the dark water and simply disappear; leaving this life and the pain that went with it behind. Unbidden memories of his dream floated back to him as he gazed down into the water, vaguely recalling the other man’s touch, the kindness in his eyes. His lips curved in a slight smile as he kept that memory close to his heart, using it to give him the strength to pull back from the edge and go back into the room to dress for dinner even though he really didn’t want to.

“God, if you’re out there and you’re listening, help me, help him get me out of here,” he murmured softly to himself.

He had just finished tying the tie that went with the suit that Jeff had provided when his jailor finally arrived. Jared swallowed hard and braced himself as he felt Jeff’s eyes rake over him with a mix of pure lust and covetous desire, the kind of look that reinforced the fact that Jared was just an object to Jeff, not a person with feelings and thoughts of his own. He forced himself not to cringe or react negatively when he felt Jeff’s hands on him, cupping his ass through the tight fitting pants and squeezing roughly.

“Seeing you like this makes me want to tear these clothes off you and screw you so hard you can’t move,” growled Jeff.

Jared squeezed his eyes shut, able to feel the way his body was screaming at him to run away from Jeff’s brutal parody of a lover’s touch. He didn’t dare follow his body’s demands though, knowing that if he did, things would only get worse. He couldn’t help the way his whole body flinched though when Jeff’s squeeze turned into a hard smack that had pain flooding his already overworked system. He bit his lip to keep from crying out and bowed his head to hide the way his eyes were watering, not wanting to earn more punishment.

“It would be so much better if you would just admit that you love me, Jared, that you love the pain,” taunted Jeff, caressing Jared’s ass through the slacks and allowing his fingers to slip beneath the waistband to tease him. “Life is pain, my boy, might as well get used to it.”

“Yes, sir,” murmured Jared, trying to keep the quaver out of his voice.

“That’s my boy,” rumbled Jeff, pulling his hand away. “My good boy.”

For a moment Jared prayed that Jeff was done pawing at him, that it was time for them to head for dinner. Instead he found himself slammed up against the wall face first; Jeff’s body pressed up against his back, hard cock riding along the crease of his ass. He hated himself, hated the way his body had been trained over the past year and a half to respond willingly to Jeff’s abuse, his cock filling in his pants. His jaw ached from the way he grit his teeth when Jeff reached around and squeezed his dick through the fabric. He could taste copper on his tongue from his teeth slipping and biting down on the inside of his lip to keep from making a single sound of pleasure or anguish. He wished he was back in his dream world of the night before, standing on the balcony with the handsome green eyed man rather than here in this brutal reality.

“Mmmmm, can’t wait to show you off tonight, was bragging about you, how tight your little ass is and how you bend over so nice for me when I want it,” growled Jeff, his breath fanning against Jared’s skin.

Jared wanted to just about gag when he smelled Jeff’s breath, able to almost taste the amount of alcohol the man had already consumed. He was amazed the man was even able to get it up without help with the way he’d been drinking already and he had a feeling that behavior would likely continue over dinner. A completely unconscious drunk Jeff was usually the only time Jared got a reprieve from Jeff screwing him senseless, especially when the man was on a possessive bender like he was right now. He wasn’t sure why Jeff drank considering as far as Jared knew the man had no conscience whatsoever but he wasn’t about to question Jeff about it, that wasn’t his purpose in the man’s life as Jeff had reminded him over and over again early on in their twisted relationship. He half expected Jeff to strip him down and take him up against the wall with the way he continued to press Jared up against the plaster but instead Jeff just continued to fondle him through the pants.

“You’re mine, Jared,” rasped Jeff, “always going to be mine, going to make sure of it.”

Jared shuddered at the thought of always belonging to Jeff, his skin crawling even as the low buzz of arousal made its way through his system. He didn’t dare respond, didn’t want to encourage the bastard’s disgusting delusions anymore than he already was. He just stood there and submitted to Jeff’s attentions, waiting for him to tire of molesting him so that they could go to dinner and be done with this evening. He sighed inwardly with relief when Jeff finally pulled back, hand and all, the weight no longer pressing him to the wall. His relief was short lived when Jeff followed up his retreat with two painfully hard smacks against his ass that had his whole body humming with pain instead of pleasure and thankfully had his cock going from hard to limp as a noodle in his pants.

“Time to go, my boy,” said Jeff gruffly, pulling him away from the wall by a hard grip on his hair, “and later you’re going to take care of this for me, right?”

Jared swallowed hard, his eyes tracking the way Jeff’s hand moved to cup his own crotch and stroke the still hard dick behind the linen pants lasciviously. He nodded weakly, knowing better than to refuse even though he prayed that Jeff would be out like a light long before he had to follow through on the man’s demands.

“Yes, sir,” he murmured.

He felt Jeff’s grip on his hair ease somewhat with his obedience and fought back a shudder as those thick fingers stroked his scalp almost like petting a dog.

“Mmmmm, keep this up and I might just let you come too,” chuckled Jeff. “We’ll see.”

“Yes, sir,” murmured Jared, lowering his gaze to his feet submissively.

He kept his head down as Jeff moved to stand beside him, arm looping around his waist as he guided Jared toward the door and out into the corridor. He plastered on his most vacant look as they began to encounter people, not wanting to give any sign of how much he detested the man whose arm was wrapped around his waist. He tried not to look at anyone in particular despite how he wanted to search for the young man from his dream in the crowds of people. He could feel other people’s eyes on him as they passed, people passing judgment without a second thought based on his appearance. He knew how he must look to them, like some spoiled, arrogant little brat being escorted by his sugar daddy. If they only knew just how wrong they were.

The dining room was just as gaudy and elegant as Jared had expected and the same went for the food, not that he felt like eating. He took a couple of small bites of the fish that was put in front of him and tried not to eye Jeff’s steak with longing, knowing the bastard had placed their dinner orders like this on purpose. Being given salmon instead of steak was Jeff’s way of saying one of two things, that Jared was fat and needed to lose weight or that he was worthless compared to Jeff and therefore deserved the lesser of the two meals. Granted, there were some who would question that considering the price of fresh salmon could easily outdo most steaks, especially American steaks but with Jeff’s Texas mindset, steak was king. As expected, Jeff was drinking himself stupid in between exchanging witty conversation with their table guests. They had two other married couples sitting with them and the husbands of both couples were busily exchanging stock tips and other business tidbits with Jeff, not realizing that had the bastard been just a few cups less sloshed he’d be taking notes and plotting which companies to put out of business and which ones to snap up before they could get too big. The two wives could not have been more different if they tried, one was eyeballing Jeffrey like he was some fantastic catch that she’d love to steal from Jared.

 _‘Please, take him; let him make your life a living hell if you’re too blind to see what a devil in disguise he is,’_ thought Jared bitterly, pushing at his food.

“Are you alright, dear?” inquired the other wife at the table softly. She was a kind looking blonde haired woman who reminded Jared of his own mother in some ways.

He wanted so badly to tell her no, he wasn’t alright, but he knew what the consequences of that would be. He stared at his plate instead, pretending he hadn’t heard her gentle inquiry in the hopes that she would leave him alone and therefore avoid Jeff’s scrutiny. His hopes were dashed when he felt her lay a hand on his arm. His head jerked up and he pulled his arm away quickly, hoping Jeff hadn’t seen the woman touching him. He felt hurt when he watched the woman’s face fall though he was thankful she didn’t seem insulted or angry. If anything she seemed more concerned which had Jared looking down at the arm she’d touched. His eyes widened when he saw how the sleeves of his jacket and dress shirt had ridden up, exposing an angry looking half moon bruise from where Jeff had clamped down on his wrist any number of times. He reached out with his other hand, tugging the cloth back down to hide his injury and scooted closer to Jeff in the hopes of deterring the woman from trying to do anything further. She looked about ready to say something to him or investigate further when her husband distracted her.

“Samantha, you should tell Jeffrey about that Mediterranean cruise we took last fall,” the man suggested.

Samantha looked torn between talking to Jared and doing as her husband asked but in the end wound up regaling the whole table with tales of how she and her husband had toured the coast of Greece and Italy and she’d spent much of the time in the gym to burn off all the food they’d enjoyed. Jared sighed heavily and returned his attention to his plate as well as his tally of how many glasses of wine Jeffrey had consumed. If there was one thing Jared knew it was that when Jeff drank wine it was more likely to knock him out than even the finest scotch. It was part of why Jared had been surprised at Jeffrey’s initial interest in his family’s winery but that surprise hadn’t lasted after the first time he’d been left alone with the man. He caught Samantha still shooting worried looks his way throughout the rest of the meal and didn’t miss her frown of disapproval when dinner plates were swapped for desserts for everyone but Jared. He wished he could make her realize that he wasn’t really missing out on anything by not getting dessert but at the same time the voice in the back of his head reminded him that this was yet another of Jeff’s many punishments to make him feel the full force of the man’s disappointment in him for his wandering eye the night before. Thankfully Jeff was so deep in his cups that he didn’t notice Samantha’s concern otherwise the couple likely would’ve been asked to leave the table. Jared glanced toward Jeff, noting how out of it the man was now that he’d consumed well over a bottle and decided to take advantage of the chance to excuse himself to use the bathroom.

“Sure, go on, go,” huffed Jeff, “just don’t get lost on the way back.”

Jared nodded mutely, not trusting himself to say anything further, and moved to stand only to be stopped by Jeff clamping down on the same wrist that Samantha had seen earlier.

“Don’t you have something to say to me, Jared?”

Jared grimaced, wishing that Jeffrey hadn’t chosen this moment to drive home his point and humiliate Jared even further in front of their fellow diners. He knew Jeff wouldn’t let him go until he said it and the words tasted like burnt food on his tongue as he spoke them.

“Yes, sir,” he murmured demurely.

“Good boy,” sneered Jeff, releasing his hold after one last squeeze.

Jared chanced a glance at Samantha, her husband, and the other couple that were sharing the table with them and noted the disdainful looks on three out of the four faces, like he was some ungrateful brat who deserved the treatment he got from Jeffrey. Those looks made him all the more eager to get away from the table and he drew his arm in close, tugging at the sleeves of his outfit to hide the fresh bruising from view as he hurried away toward the bathroom. He fought down the urge to hyperventilate once he was able to shut himself inside one of the stalls and sat down on the toilet as he tried to pull himself together. He ran his fingers back through his hair multiple times and grimaced at the reminder of Jeff doing the same thing to him not that long ago. He tensed when he heard the door to the bathroom open, wondering if Jeffrey had reconsidered and was coming after him then relaxed when he didn’t hear the man’s familiar voice or footsteps. He knew he couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever but he knew that he needed to find a way to get away and get away tonight if only for a little while. This twisted relationship was beginning to strangle him and if he didn’t do something now he was going to be surrounded by people like the ones at that table, people who didn’t care, who wouldn’t see Jeff for what he really was, who would cry good riddance when Jeff finally beat him to death and say that he’d brought it on himself. He pulled himself together and steeled what little resolve he had left in the core of his being and finally left the stall. He moved to the sink and washed his hands, splashing some water on his face and running his wet fingers through his hair before he moved to the door.

“Jared?”

Jared felt his heart stop for a moment when he heard his name until he realized that it wasn’t Jeff that was talking to him. He was surprised to see Samantha standing near the other bathroom door as though she’d been either intending to go in or had just gotten out, either way she seemed to be waiting for him. He glanced back toward the dining room feeling that same old fear rise in him despite what he’d told himself in the bathroom.

“Jared, it’s okay, you can talk to me, I won’t tell him anything,” she said, motioning him over to her, “C’mon.”

It was so tempting, so painfully tempting but he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t risk the fact that she might tell her husband who would tell Jeff and Jeff would then punish him even worse than salmon and no dessert.

“No, I’m sorry Ms. Samantha, I can’t,” he murmured.

He watched her earnest expression fade away at his response and he offered her a sad smile in return. He knew she meant well, that she wanted to help him, to save him, but he knew the only person able to save him without someone else having to suffer the consequences was himself and even that wasn’t a guarantee. He swallowed hard and turned away to head back to the table where he found Jeffrey half dead to the world and practically unable to lift his head from where it was lolling to the side. The remaining guests at the table as well as a few other nearby diners looked rather disgusted by Jeff’s slovenly behavior and Jared motioned as subtly as he could for a couple of waiters to join him at the table.

“T-t-time for bed, sir,” he murmured, motioning for the waiters to help him lift Jeffrey out of his seat.

“Bed? Fuck, no, m’stayin’ righ’ here,” slurred Jeff, pulling away from the waiters and glaring up at Jared.

Jared bit his lip, trying to stay calm and in control of the situation as much as he could, knowing that there was a flip side to Jeff being drunk which was that his internal censor against openly abusing Jared went out the window. The last thing he needed was for Jeff to start beating up on him in the middle of the restaurant just for trying to get him to bed. He stepped back and allowed the staff of the ship to take over dealing with his drunken boyfriend though even they had a hell of a time getting the man up and out of the chair. He caught Samantha’s eye one last time as he walked away, following the two waiters and one manager who were guiding Jeff toward the exit slowly but surely. They were met at the exit by two members of the ship’s security squad and Jared kept his head down as he tailed them and an unruly Jeff to the elevators and then up to their level of the ship to their cabin.

“I trust you can take him from here, young man,” huffed the security guard, handing Jeffrey off to Jared like a sack of potatoes.

“Yes, sir,” mumbled Jared.

“Jared?” slurred Jeffrey. “Remind me to beat your ass in the morning for this.”

Jared cringed at Jeff saying that in front of the guards but thankfully they both seemed to assume it was the alcohol talking as they walked away shaking their heads at him and Jeff. He sighed heavily as he dragged Jeff into the room and let the door slam behind them, hoping he had enough strength in him to get Jeff tucked into bed before he passed out.

 _‘If he passes out before you get him into bed just dump him on the floor,’_ he thought maliciously even though he knew he wouldn’t follow through on it simply because the payback Jeff would exact in return would make what the man had said in front of the guards seem like nothing. He huffed and puffed as he dragged Jeffrey across the floor until they were in the bedroom where the dickhead seemed to finally perk up and realize what was going on. He shuddered at the lascivious smile that spread across Jeff’s lips and if it could have he was sure his dick would have crawled up inside his body at the danger inherent in that smile. He felt Jeff’s hand come to rest on his head and felt his heart pound in his chest as his boyfriend began to push him down, trying to force him down onto his knees.

“’Member what I said before we left, s’time for you to keep your word, m’boy, suck me off and maybe I won’t leave you hanging, bitch,” growled Jeff.

Jared swallowed hard and nodded as he allowed Jeff to push him down so that his face was level with his crotch. He found himself wishing desperately that Jeff would’ve passed out into a wine soaked sleep before he forced him to suck his dick but it seemed like his little bit of luck for the evening had run out. He watched Jeff sway above him for a moment and lifted his hands to try and subtly move his boyfriend toward the bed so that if Jeff were to fall over it’d be a softer landing than what he really deserved. As it was when Jeff shifted in response to Jared’s touch, he wound up doing just that, sitting down hard on the edge of the mattress with Jared kneeling between his legs.

“Well?” demanded Jeff, “what are you waiting for dammit?”

Jared licked his lips and reached out to undo the fastenings of Jeff’s slacks only to be met with an unfortunate surprise when he realized Jeff’s dick wasn’t hard thanks to all the alcohol that the man had consumed. He could still feel the solid, heavy weight of Jeff’s hand on his head and knew that claiming that he couldn’t perform because Jeff couldn’t get it up wasn’t going to cut it as an excuse, especially to a drunk Jeff. He glanced up at Jeff who was staring down at him with unfocused eyes just waiting for him to start sucking him off like he’d agreed to do. He licked his lips again nervously and took a deep breath before burying his face against Jeff’s crotch, fighting the urge to gag as the scent of sweat and alcohol assailed his senses. He pulled his face back, replacing it with his hand as he began to jack Jeff’s cock in earnest, hoping to coax the flaccid piece of shit into rising at least long enough for him to satisfy his boyfriend and hopefully avoid a thorough beating.

“What the fuck? What the fuck have you done to me you little bitch?” scolded Jeff, yanking at Jared’s hair with one hand and backhanding him across the face with the other.

Jared couldn’t help the cry that broke from his throat when Jeff backhanded him, the pain exploding through his already bruised and battered cheek and jaw. That noise was rewarded with another smack and then another one after that until Jared’s eyes were watering and his nose was starting to run whether he wanted it to or not.

“You slipped me something didn’t you, you slipped something into my food to do this to me,” roared Jeff, his voice getting louder the angrier he got at Jared.

“No, no, no,” whimpered Jared, cowering away as much as Jeff’s grip on his hair would allow him to.

“You filthy piece of shit, I save your parents fuckin’ farm and this is how you show gratitude, this is how you repay me!” snarled Jeff. “I should call the bank right now and have them foreclose on your parents winery for this.”

Jared’s eyes went wide and a bizarre combination of panic and anger flooded his system at Jeff having the nerve to blame him for the fact that he couldn’t get it up now when the real blame rested on the bottle of Syrah the bastard had downed with dinner. He scrabbled against Jeff’s hold, reaching up with his hands to try and pry himself loose from Jeff’s grip so that he could run fast and far away from the menace facing him.

“I didn’t, I didn’t do it,” he cried out. “It’s not my fault, I didn’t do anything.”

“Don’t lie to me you bitch, get over here, get the fuck over here.”

Jared fought like a madman, struggling with Jeff as the man dragged him across the opulent carpet and flung him against the bed, his torso pressed against the mattress with his legs dangling off the side. His face was mashed against the fresh linens almost suffocatingly tight especially when Jeff’s body weight came to rest on top of him like he had earlier against the wall.

“You little fucker, you’re not worthy of this, you’re not worthy of any of this that I’ve given you,” sneered Jeff. “I ought to fuck you so hard that you bleed to death so that they’ll just dump you over the side and be done with you.”

Jared couldn’t help the pained sob that broke from his battered body at Jeff’s threats, pain lancing through him not just physically but emotionally and mentally at how this man who claimed to love him wasn’t above murdering him all because of a little erectile dysfunction. He grunted against the linens as he felt Jeff humping against his clothed ass, the silky fabric abrading his abused and aching hole and dick. He felt his face flush as he realized he was getting hard again thanks to the unwanted friction and gradually he realized he wasn’t the only one whose body was reacting to the brutality.

“Stop,” he sobbed against the comforter. “Stop, please, sir, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“You bet you will, you worthless little slut,” growled Jeff, his mouth so close to Jared’s ear he could smell the alcohol on the man’s breath.

Jared sucked in a deep breath as he felt Jeff pull back then felt something hit the bed next to him with a heavy thud. He stayed right where he was, not trusting to hope that maybe, just maybe Jeff had finally passed out like he’d been praying for. He waited and waited, listening for Jeff to do or say something, to resume abusing him or worse drag him off the bed to gag him with that grotesque cock that he’d been humping against Jared’s ass. He counted the seconds as they ticked by, waiting a full five minutes before finally taking the risk and lifting his head from the bed. At first he wondered if he’d gotten even luckier than he could’ve hoped and Jeff had had a heart attack or a stroke or something that would eliminate the bastard from his life for good much like Jeffrey had threatened to do to him. The man was lying so still that it took a moment or two before Jared realized his chest was still rising and falling albeit much slower than it had been when the bastard was huffing angrily against his ear. Once he realized that Jeff was out like a light and he was no longer in immediate danger, shock set in and had his whole body shaking as he thought about the full force of Jeff’s rage and the threats the man had flung at him.

“Oh God, oh God, oh God,” he mumbled to himself, pulling his body into a tight, protective ball where he sat on the bed, staring at his attacker.

He rocked back and forth feeling petrified and unsure of what to do now or what to expect next. For all he knew Jeff would wake up still furious and blaming him for everything and would either beat or fuck him to within an inch of his life. He could run but there were few places he could hide if Jeff decided to come looking for him to drag him back to his side.

_‘But remember this, if you’re in danger, if you need somewhere to hide from him, come find me.’_

The words from his dream came back to haunt him and he found himself remembering the green eyed man and his offer to protect him.

 _‘That was just a dream, Jared, a dream, it wasn’t really him, he wasn’t really there,’_ he chastised himself.

“But what if it wasn’t,” he murmured, “what if…”

He looked at his surroundings, at his drunk, abusive, unconscious boyfriend who was splayed on the floor with his fly open and his cock back to being limper than an overcooked noodle. When it came down to it he had two choices, stay and pray that Jeff wouldn’t kill him when he woke up or flee and hope like hell that either Jeff wouldn’t find him or that if Jeff did find him that the bastard wouldn’t kill him for running off. He bit at his lip and continued to stare at Jeff’s sleeping body before finally making up his mind. He climbed off the bed carefully and sought out his bag that Jeff had his servants back home pack for Jared. He fetched out a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt that would help hide the bruises and scars then quickly worked to swap them out for the fancy and bloodied clothes he was wearing. He changed his boxers as well, wanting to rid himself of the damp spot that had developed when his body had responded to Jeffrey’s abuse. He felt bile rise in his throat but he swallowed it down, refusing to turn into a retching wretched heap in the bathroom despite how much he loathed himself for his body’s automatic response to Jeffrey’s rutting earlier. The bastard had spent many months conditioning him and that wasn’t about to change in one night. He pulled on socks and sneakers instead of the dress socks and shoes he’d worn to dinner and then last but not least he grabbed his wallet, his phone, and a beanie to pull on over his messy hair and help disguise him before heading into the living room part of their suite and to the door. 

He wasn’t sure how in the hell he was supposed to find the man from his dream considering he didn’t even know his name. The only thing he knew was that he couldn’t just stand around and hope the guy would find his way to him, he had to go where people were and see if somehow he could either find him or someone who could help him find him. He put one foot in front of the other even though he was still feeling somewhat shaky, whether that was from what had just happened or lack of food he wasn’t sure. He made his way toward the elevator and pushed the button, waiting for the doors to open, then stepped inside once an elevator arrived to take him up, needing the fresh sea air to settle his nerves and make him realize he was free at least for a little while. He wasn’t sure what morning would bring, whether he’d go crawling back to Jeff begging for forgiveness or if he’d tell the bastard to finally take it and shove it. All he knew right now was that at least for tonight, he was free to live his life the way he wanted to, he was free.

Jensen spent most of the afternoon walking the various decks and exploring the full breadth of the ship to try and exorcise the feelings that talking about Jared triggered in him. He didn’t understand it, didn’t grasp why he felt such a connection to this young man even though he’d never seen him and never met him until yesterday. He made his way back down into the ship to the internet café he’d visited the night before to check his email and found a couple of messages from Misha, Vicki, and Danneel. His brows nearly rose to his hairline as the trio told him, in brief, the story of how the three of them had gotten together some time ago. Misha and Vicki had met first, both reaching ironically enough for the same sex book on the shelf which had turned into drinks and acting out some of the positions in the book later on that night. Vicki had brought Danneel in after she and Misha had hired her to work in their coffee shop. The girls had hit it off first and with Misha’s blessing Vicki had been allowed to take things further with Misha joining in on the fun now and then. The point of all that storytelling was a lot simpler, trust the cards, trust his gut, and when the opportunity presented itself, go for it despite the guard dog boyfriend. Misha’s assessment after doing research similar to what Jensen himself had done was that Jeff was bad news and that Jared would be better off well away from the guy. Jensen sighed heavily and allowed his fingers to brush against his deck of cards still wrapped in his towel then got up from the computer to head back to his cabin.

When he got back, the first thing that was on his mind was getting changed to meet up with Felicia and Genevieve for dinner like he’d promised them but instead he found himself sitting at his desk with the cards again. There was something more than just agitation over Jared’s living situation nagging at him and the only way he knew to resolve and calm it even slightly was to read the cards. He closed his eyes and focused on that nagging feeling as he shuffled the cards then pulled the top three and laid them out face down. He opened his eyes slowly, almost feeling wary as he reached out to flip them over one by one. The message he saw had him beyond worried as the King of Diamonds appeared to be chasing the Jack of Hearts resulting in the Eight of Spades as the outcome.

“Danger, Will Robinson, danger, danger,” he muttered to himself, brushing his finger over the Jack of Hearts which he knew was Jared’s card.

The idea of Jared being in danger troubled him but by the same token he knew that he couldn’t exactly go charging up to the levels with the suites looking for the guy without causing a commotion. He prayed that the message he’d left with Jared in his spirit walk had taken root in the young man’s head and that somehow they’d find their way to each other if Jared were to end up in very real danger. 

With the worst of his psychic senses sated at least for now, Jensen focused on changing clothes for dinner, swapping out his board shorts for his nicest pair of jeans and a button down shirt. He ran his hand over his jaw as he looked in the mirror, noting the scruff that’d grown in over the course of the day. He broke out his razor and shaved his jaw almost smooth, leaving just a fine stubble to make him look not quite so baby faced. He smirked to himself as he studied himself in the mirror, feeling almost like he was dressing for a date even though neither of the girls had any interest in him like that. He splashed on some aftershave and used some gel to get his spikes to stand up rather than flatten out with the humidity since they were likely going to be back up on one of the top decks. He nodded approvingly at the picture he made in the mirror and hoped he hadn’t overdone it for what the girls were likely expecting from him. He picked up his phone and shot Genevieve a quick text to see where they were so that he could meet up with them. He stuck his wallet in one pocket and on impulse stuck the bundle with his cards in the other pocket just in case he felt the need to check up on Jared the only way he knew how while he was out with the girls. He was about to go knock on their cabin door like they’d done to him that morning when his phone buzzed with a return text that had him grinning and blushing a little bit as well.

“Running late, forgot just how hot Felicia could be in a bikini, feel free to scout ahead and get us a table, will text when en route,” he read, chuckling softly at Gen’s explanation for their delay.

He remembered that feeling, remembered how Richard had found him irresistible when he’d come in all sweaty from working out in the garden. Something about how the sweat brought out pheromones and god knows what other crap was how Richard had explained it. Knowing Richard and his ways though, now he sometimes wondered if the guy was just bullshitting his way back into Jensen’s bed after having just finished boinking someone else. He shook his head, pushing those memories away rather than letting them cloud his mind, knowing there was someone else out there who might need him tonight. He sent Genevieve back a text letting her know he was headed up to the restaurant and for her and Felicia to give him a heads up when they were on their way before putting his phone away in one of the pockets of his jeans. He braced himself when he headed out of his cabin for the throngs of people going up and down and all around the ship now that they had been at sea for going on twenty four hours. He opted to take the stairs again both for the sake of exercise and to avoid being confined in the elevator for too long with too many people headed down rather than up. He passed all kinds of people as he climbed, blue hairs dressed to the nines likely either going to dinner or to one of the many bars down on the lower levels and people around his own age dressed like they were rocking the Vegas strip probably planning on hitting the dance club he’d seen mentioned on one of the deck maps. He paused when he reached the deck he’d so far only seen in his dreams and had to fight the pull of Jared’s presence somewhere among the multitude of others he caught in passing as he stood there at the railing of the next staircase. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain and malice that was radiating his way like a homing beacon. His feet felt like lead as he forced himself to keep going up the stairs, fighting the urge to turn and go back to find out whatever was happening between Jeff and Jared. 

One of the first things he did when he got up to the restaurant was order a beer, needing just a little bit of alcohol to dull his psychic senses enough to keep him from doing something foolish. He waited at the bar until they had a table open for three people, sipping at his beer and watching for Genevieve and Felicia to come up for air. He shoved down the slight pang of jealousy that went through him when he thought about the two girls sharing some private time with each other, the memory of being like that, of having someone being somewhat raw thanks to his earlier talk with Genevieve. Thoughts of being with Jared like that, holding him close and exchanging slow, tender kisses that would help the young man forget whatever that bastard Jeff had done snuck into his head only for Jensen to quickly shake them away. There was no point in indulging thoughts like that when Jared barely even knew that Jensen existed despite what Misha and Vicki had said about such things. Thankfully before he could get too lost in thought, Genevieve and Felicia showed up as well as the hostess to take them to their table. He was thankful that he’d agreed to rejoin the girls for dinner despite how they spent a lot of the time making lovey dovey eyes at each other rather than talking to him but then he blamed that on the scenery. Their table was right next to the large wall of windows that gave a great view of the sun setting into the warm Caribbean Sea turning both the sky and the water all kinds of shades of purple, pink, orange, and golden yellow as it sank beneath the waves. He allowed himself to indulge in his own romantic thoughts briefly as he stared out the windows, picturing standing out on deck with his arm around Jared’s lean body as they watched the setting sun. His lips twisted into a wry smile as he pried his attention away from the windows just long enough to eat the sushi roll that was put in front of him. The food around here seemed to be never ending which made it easier for Jensen to secure a doggie bag of extra sushi just in case he had a midnight guest.

“Eating for two, Jensen?” inquired Felicia with a giggle.

“I dunno, maybe,” mumbled Jensen sheepishly, glancing away from the girls and feeling suddenly a bit self-conscious.

“Everything okay, Jensen?” inquired Genevieve. “You’ve been almost more distant tonight than last night when he was actually in the room.”

“I dunno, it might be nothing but…”

“But…” prodded Genevieve.

“But I’ve got a bad feeling, when I was on my way up here, I felt him and it felt like trouble,” he explained, keeping his voice down so that they wouldn’t attract unwanted attention.

“He’s got a bad feeling about this,” murmured Felicia, nodding and smirking at her own joke until she caught the more serious expressions on her girlfriend and Jensen’s face. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

It took Jensen a moment or two to catch Felicia’s geeky reference but once he caught on he couldn’t help chuckling a little at the similarity between his psychic impulses and those of your average Jedi or spaceship flying smuggler.

“I guess you told her about me?” he inquired, quirking a brow at Genevieve.

“Of course,” admitted Gen. “I don’t keep anything from Felicia if I can help it.”

“Do you have them with you? Your cards?” inquired Felicia with a grin.

“Actually, yeah,” he murmured, patting his pocket, “Figured I might need them before the night is over.”

“Can I try that trick you had Genevieve do earlier? I want to see if I pull the same cards.”

“Um…”

“Felicia, he’s not a magician, it’s not like that,” sighed Genevieve, lacing her fingers with her girlfriend’s to try and coax her to stop pestering Jensen.

“It’s okay,” assured Jensen. “I’m actually not used to people being so cool with it.”

He allowed his hand to hover over where the cards sat in his pocket, feeling them out, seeing if there really was a message that Felicia needed from him or them. He felt a slight tug from them but it had little to do with the two women in front of him and more to do with the young man who was in danger somewhere in the ship.

“Maybe tomorrow, okay? I think if I tried to read you right now I’d get too much personal interference,” he explained with a sigh, drawing his hand away, “and I hate it when that happens because then the message gets confused.”

“Okay,” responded Felicia, nodding. “Does that happen a lot? Personal stuff messing with your psychic thing?”

“Only when there’s something going on that the universe really doesn’t want me to ignore, it’s annoying that way,” chuckled Jensen, cutting off any further questions by digging into his dessert and washing it down with sips of sake between bites.

Genevieve studied Jensen, having a feeling the young man was going to need another vacation once this vacation was over with the way the universe seemed to be weighing so heavily on him. She glanced out the window as the sun finally disappeared below the horizon then moved to stretch, looping her arm around Felicia’s shoulder and toying with her vibrant red hair.

“So, what’s the plan?” she inquired, smiling at Jensen’s startled blinking that told her his mind had been wandering again.

“The plan for what?” he responded.

“For you…and him,” she answered.

“I don’t have a plan, I barely even know the guy,” huffed Jensen, beginning to feel like everyone was clued in on something that he couldn’t even begin to grasp as far as he and Jared were concerned.

Felicia giggled and leaned into Genevieve’s arm, beginning to understand what her girlfriend was getting at as they watched Jensen alternate between mindlessly eating and staring off into space like his mind was far away from their table in the restaurant.

“You may barely know him but I think you’re already smitten with him,” she said with a sweet smile. “I’d even go so far as to say it was love at first sight whether you want to face it or not.”

Both girls were surprised when Jensen’s face went from relaxed to downright stormy as he pulled his gaze back to the present rather than the far distance, staring at the two of them like they were out of their minds.

“Love at first sight? There is no such thing,” he snorted, shaking his head to banish the fanciful thought, “especially not for someone like me.”

“Thought you said you’d let that go, Jensen,” murmured Genevieve.

“I have, I just…”

“You just have massive trust issues because that little punk slept around on you,” retorted Genevieve, “And you’re letting that make you feel that even if you do manage to save Jared from that dragon boyfriend of his that you two can’t have some kind of happily ever after.”

Jensen glared half-heartedly at Genevieve, wishing that she was just a little less observant but then that was something he was beginning to feel toward a lot of people in his life. He sighed and reached for his wallet, pulling out enough cash to cover his tab as well as his extra food before pushing to his feet. His chair legs scraped against the floor as well as another set across the table as Felicia pulled away from her girlfriend and stood in front of Jensen.

“Jensen, it’s okay,” she murmured. “She’s not trying to be mean, call it silly considering we’ve barely gotten to know you and know even less about him but…I dunno, maybe it’s experience, maybe it’s just wishful thinking from someone else who’s head over feet for the person they’re with but you’re someone who deserves to be happy and who has a big enough heart to make someone else happy. It might be hard to open yourself up to that after being betrayed. Believe me, I know, my last relationship before I met Gen wasn’t exactly a picnic.”

Jensen hung his head, feeling bad for being so aggravated at the girls when he knew they meant well.

“I just don’t want to get my hopes up, Felicia,” he said softly. “For all I know, I’m wrong…again. Maybe I’m not meant to be some kind of knight in shining armor for this kid.”

“And maybe you are,” countered Felicia. “Go, get some fresh air and some sleep and maybe things will look better in the morning.”

Jensen eyed Felicia skeptically, impressed by her seemingly boundless optimism. He made a mental note to introduce her and Genevieve to Misha and his girls sometime, the five of them would get along scarily well and given the chance would likely take over the world and make it a better place. He was slightly taken aback when the piquant pixie got up on her toes and gave him a peck on the cheek, his hand lifting up to cover the spot.

“What was that for?” he inquired with a chuckle.

“For luck, you need it,” she responded with a smirk, then plopped back down next to her girlfriend.

Jensen lowered his hand and tilted his head as he studied Felicia, beginning to wonder if there was more to her than met the eye with her uncanny sense of timing. Usually he was pretty good at picking up on other people who were gifted the way he was but Felicia seemed determined to elude him. He sighed and shook his head, a small smile teasing at his lips as he watched Felicia snuggle back up against Genevieve. He felt, not jealousy, but longing as he studied them together for a moment before finally walking away to take Felicia’s advice. He emerged from the restaurant and found himself making his way up to almost the top most deck where he was surprised to find so few people wandering around. He meandered along the deck and was surprised when he found what looked like a lawn in the middle of the wood planks. He thought it might be a golf green at first until he heard music and saw people milling around like it was some kind of garden party. He made his way down to the bar at the far end and thought about ordering himself another beer to dull the tugging he could still feel in his gut but instead he opted for a Jack and coke without the Jack. He made his way back to the lawn and found some out of the way corner to sit down and simply drink in the broad expanse of stars up above him. He was amazed at just how much he could see even with all the lights of the ship around him and allowed himself to get lost in the spinning sky above. He sipped his soda slowly until it was gone and handed off the empty glass to one of the passing waiters before letting himself lie back against the soft grass. 

He closed his eyes and he wondered if he could doze off just lying there listening to the soft strumming of a guitarist in the distance. He wasn’t sure how much time had ticked by when he suddenly felt his eyes snap open, alarm bells going off throughout his body like someone had pulled an emergency switch. He sat up and looked around frantically, needing to find the source of his sudden internal panic before the feeling made him go insane. He sucked in a breath when he finally spotted the source of the chaos running through his body, the young man’s wiry form silhouetted against the darkness. His shoulders were hunched and his head ducked down in a vain attempt not to draw attention to himself but there were plenty of people other than Jensen who couldn’t help but notice how the young man stuck out among the well dressed people at the bar like a sore thumb.

Jensen hurriedly got to his feet, surprised to see Jared standing there alone rather than with his barnacle boyfriend glued to his hip at first until he caught wind of the pain radiating off of the young man. He crossed the grass with long strides, drawn to Jared’s pain like a magnet to metal even as he constantly searched the crowd for any sign of Jeff being nearby. He could tell the moment Jared spotted him coming because the young man visibly lit up just before whatever defenses he had seemed to crumble like a rotted wall. He watched Jared’s body sway and his knees buckle as the young man just about fell to the ground like a sack of bricks. Jensen upped his pace, rushing to get to Jared’s side and get his arms around him before he could hit the grass. His eyes searched Jared’s pained hazel ones and he wasn’t sure what to make of the hoarse but slightly hysterical bark of laughter that escaped the young man’s lips.

“It’s you, I found you,” rasped Jared, “I found you.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Yeah, yeah, Jared, you found me,” murmured Jensen, studying the young man’s face.

Even in the low light coming from the bars he could see the tracks of tears and snot on Jared’s face as well as the way it looked like a fresh bruise was blooming along the sharp edge of his jaw. Without even thinking about it, he traced over the abused flesh lightly with his fingers, anger and hurt welling up inside him at how Jeff had decided to batter Jared. He was so focused on Jared, on holding him up in his arms that he didn’t realize that they weren’t alone until he saw another small, delicate hand join his in supporting Jared’s head, while another brought a water bottle to Jared’s bruised and busted lips.

“Drink up,” she instructed gently, drawing Jensen’s attention away from Jared’s face.

He was surprised to see a somewhat older woman with blonde hair crouched in the grass with him and Jared, the look on her face concerned and tender like a mother who was looking after a sick child. He pulled his attention away from her when he heard Jared coughing and felt him struggling slightly in his arms.

“Ms. Samantha,” choked out Jared, “Wha…”

“Shhhhh, it’s okay, my lips are sealed, I won’t tell that asshole that you’re here,” she said, her lips pursed in a tight line as she talked about Jeff.

Jensen realized the woman was on his side and obviously had managed to become aware of what was going on between Jeff and Jared somehow. The woman, Samantha, lifted her gaze from Jared to meet his own and he could feel her scrutiny, like she was inspecting him to make sure he wasn’t going to cause Jared any further harm. She seemed to approve of whatever she saw because she soon handed off the bottle of water to him and fixed him with a stern almost maternal gaze.

“Take good care of him, son,” she murmured softly, “He needs someone to take care of him and put him back together after everything he’s been through.”

Jensen swallowed hard, nodding in response without a second thought even though he knew he was likely biting off more than he could ever hope to chew by trying to protect Jared from his abusive boyfriend.

“I will,” he responded.

His response seemed to please Samantha and she lingered only a few moments longer, pushing a few strands of Jared’s hair out of his face before moving away and coaxing some of the unwanted spectators that Jensen hadn’t even noticed before to leave them alone. He picked up where Samantha had left off, coaxing Jared into drinking the bottle of water until it was completely empty.

“What are you doing here, Jared?” he inquired gently once the young man seemed to be more aware of where he was.

“I…I had to…had to get out of there,” responded Jared shakily. “Didn’t want to be there when he woke up.”

Jensen forced down his anger at Jeffrey for what he’d obviously done to Jared both physically and emotionally and tried to focus on comforting the young man that had almost quite literally fallen into his arms. He gently coaxed Jared into sitting up, taking note of when the young man winced in pain despite how Jared tried to hide it from him.

“Do you think you can stand up?” he asked, keeping his voice low and soothing to keep from scaring Jared off potentially.

“I…I don’t know,” said Jared, “I can try.”

“Okay, let’s try then,” murmured Jensen.

He wanted to get them somewhere less obvious, not wanting to attract any more attention than they already had for fear of someone telling Jeff where Jared had been. He eased his arms from around Jared cautiously but stayed close, silently offering him help if Jared wanted it but giving the young man some space to get up on his own. He could feel Jared’s surprise when he withdrew then smiled as he watched Jared push to his feet, feeling like a farmer watching a colt take its first steps as the young man managed to stand on his own despite how shaky he still was. Jensen pushed to his own feet once he was sure that Jared was good then offered his hand to the young man, wanting to reassure him that this was real and that he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Jared hesitated at first, months of Jeff’s conditioning kicking in and making him reluctant to do something he knew would anger his boyfriend until he recalled the scene he’d left behind in his cabin. He grasped the green eyed man’s hand, lacing their fingers together and savoring the feel of the man’s hand in his own. He lifted his gaze to meet his savior’s, the feelings of home and safe and wanted rolling through him just like it had when he’d seen the man from the gang plank when he’d boarded the cruise ship. His lips curved in a weak smile when he felt the man give his hand a gentle reassuring squeeze before taking a step forward and hoping Jared would stick with him. He half expected for a moment for the man with the green eyes to drag him along like Jeff always did but instead the young man waited for Jared to take a step forward with him before trying to keep moving. The two of them walked together, side by side over to a quiet, darker corner of the lawn where there were a couple of white bags sitting abandoned by their owner in favor of coming to his rescue.

“Do you like sushi?” inquired Jensen, gently guiding Jared over to where he’d been sitting.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I’ve ever had it before,” murmured Jared.

“Really? Well, would you like to try some? I…uh…I have some leftovers from dinner, my eyes were bigger than my gut.”

Jared eyed the green eyed man suspiciously, unused to someone actually asking his opinion or offering him anything without there being payment of some kind involved. He watched the man move to sit down on the lawn, his fingers easing from Jared’s and making him feel bereft all of a sudden. He followed the other man’s example hastily, almost tripping over himself in his haste to sit down close to him, his hand seeking the green eyed man’s with almost an edge of desperation.

Jensen was stunned at how Jared reached out for his hand eagerly once they were sitting on the grass and he allowed the young man to hang on to him, his fingers lacing with Jared’s gently and thumb stroking the side of his palm.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, Jared, I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to,” he murmured reassuringly.

“How…how do you know my name?” responded Jared, feeling a bit confused at just how familiar it felt to be talking to this man, like they’d been here before even though he couldn’t remember the guy’s name for the life of him.

“Some friends of mine told me,” explained Jensen. “The girls I was with last night, they recognized you.”

“Oh…”

Jared remembered the girls the guy was talking about, the red head and the dark haired young woman who had been sitting with green eyes at dinner.

“So you guys are just friends?” he inquired warily though he wasn’t sure why he was so concerned if they were or weren’t.

“Just friends,” said Jensen, nodding. “They’re a couple themselves actually and even if they weren’t, they’re not my type.”

Jared swallowed hard and ducked his head, looking down at the way the green eyed man was holding his hand, losing himself for a moment in the gentle, repetitive stroke of the man’s thumb against his palm.

“Am I your type?” he inquired, bracing himself for the man’s response.

Jensen licked at his lips and felt his cheeks warm as the answer to Jared’s question hit him like a Mack truck.

“Yeah, yeah, you are,” he murmured.

Jared lifted his head, his eyes locking on the green eyes that’d been his lifeline through the whole night and taking in the warmth that burned within them. He couldn’t remember anyone ever looking at him like that, like he was something precious to be treasured and loved rather than owned and used and abused. Hazy memories came back to him of his dream the night before, of seeing this man on his balcony, of the words that had brought him here as well as the man’s name.

“Jensen,” he breathed.

He watched those green eyes widen and suddenly the truth about his dream came rushing back to him, which was that it wasn’t a dream, not totally.

“Why me? Why did you come to me?” he inquired, feeling lost and confused.

“Because you needed me, because…”

Jensen bit at his lip, unsure whether he should say what he felt in his heart now that he was sitting here with Jared, face to face. He knew what he’d said at dinner with the girls, that he didn’t believe in love at first sight but if what he was feeling for Jared right now wasn’t love he didn’t know what else it could be. It wasn’t pity, if it was pity he would have let the young man go by now, would’ve given him the bag of sushi and sent him on his way, trusting in the universe to provide for him. He gazed into the kaleidoscopic colors of Jared’s hazel eyes and felt his heart squeeze in his chest at the thought of ever having to let this young man go. He knew he shouldn’t but he let his heart lead him as he leaned in to brush a feather light kiss against Jared’s lips, afraid to push for more out of fear that it would send Jared running for the hills.

Jared’s eyes slipped shut as Jensen leaned in and he felt his whole body flash hot and cold and hot again at the brush of Jensen’s lips against his own. An unknown longing spiked somewhere deep inside his gut and he found himself searching his memories for the last time he’d been kissed like that. Jeff’s kisses were never like that, not even early on in their relationship, they’d always been brutal, bruising, passionate crashes of lips against lips that’d lost more and more of their true passion as time had worn on. The only person he could recall was his girlfriend Traci from junior high who’d helped him realize that he was gay. They’d experimented together, testing the waters and eventually both of them had realized that the opposite sex just wasn’t quite their cup of tea. He surprised himself and from the feel of it, Jensen too, when he shifted his mouth to press his lips against Jensen’s more fully, actively seeking more from the kiss even though not that long ago he’d been a shaking sobbing mess. He bit back a disappointed whimper when Jensen retreated and his eyes opened slowly to meet Jensen’s surprised gaze.

“Wow…” he breathed.

“Heh, yeah, wow is right,” murmured Jensen.

He felt completely out of his depth as he gazed into Jared’s eyes, able to see every bit of heat and confusion he was feeling reflected in the young man’s gaze. He licked at his lips; tasting the faint hint of copper on his tongue from what he slowly realized was the remains of blood on Jared’s lips. Anger rose hot and acrid in his chest as he thought about what Jeff had to have done to bloody Jared’s lips that badly to where the taste still lingered. He didn’t realize just how much his anger had taken him over until he heard a soft, fearful whimper from the young man sitting beside him. Jensen’s eyes widened as he realized he was just about crushing Jared’s hand out of anger and pulled his fingers free, not wanting to cause the young man anymore pain.

“Sorry, God, Jared, I’m sorry, I just…” he said, stumbling over his words. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, in fact the thought of you being hurt makes me so mad I could…I don’t want to think about it.”

Jared was shocked and fearful at first when he felt Jensen’s hand squeeze his own so tightly and he couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his throat. He half expected Jensen to hit him like Jeff did when he made noises like that and instead was taken aback at how Jensen pulled his hand away and tucked it in close to him rather than using it to lash out against Jared. His jaw went slightly slack as instead of hurting him further, Jensen actually apologized for hurting him to begin with, something Jeffrey had never done, not in the whole time they’d been together. Well, at least not verbally; Jeff’s idea of an apology, when the asshole bothered to apologize, was to shower him with meaningless baubles like expensive watches and flowers. He found himself reaching out hesitantly; coaxing Jensen’s hand away from being tucked so close to his body and laced his fingers with Jensen’s once more, savoring the warm press of flesh against flesh without any coercion involved.

“It’s…it’s okay, I’m okay,” he murmured reassuringly.

Jensen was surprised when Jared actually reached out to him and took his hand back, sighing with relief as he felt Jared’s palm pressed against his own. He resumed stroking his thumb along the side of Jared’s palm, wishing in that brief moment that he could stop time and make it so that he and Jared could stay right where they were, sitting together in the semi-darkness without the threat of Jeff and his eventual rage at Jared’s defection to Jensen hanging over their heads. He worried at his lower lip nervously, unsure what to say or do for fear of ruining this quiet, safe moment between the two of them. Ultimately, Jared’s gut settled that when it decided to gurgle loudly enough that everyone on deck almost should’ve been able to hear it.

“Heh, hungry?” he inquired gently.

Jared grimaced as he felt his stomach gurgle with hunger, interrupting the comfortable silence between him and Jensen. He ducked his head sheepishly when he realized Jensen had heard his guts rumbling and nodded, eying the bags next to Jensen that he guessed must have contained the leftovers Jensen had spoken of. He watched as Jensen reached out with his free hand to grab one of the bags, handing it off to him to unpack. He fumbled the bag open one handedly, not wanting to release his grip on Jensen again for fear of everything turning out to be little more than some wistful dream due to Jeff knocking him unconscious in one of his raging fits. He was surprised when he pulled not one but three small boxes from the bag and looked over at Jensen, unsure why the man would have left behind so much food. He opened each box and fought down the initial urge to gag as the smell of fish hit him full force, reminding him of the dinner he’d left mostly uneaten earlier.

Jensen eyed Jared worriedly as he watched the young man unpack the food, noting the way he looked ill when he opened the boxes.

“Are you okay?” he inquired gently. “You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. I tried to pick out some of the milder ones like the California roll and the Alaskan plus the Teriyaki one right there has chicken in it.”

Jared’s brow creased further and oddly enough some of the sick feeling in his gut ebbed as he looked over at Jensen, taking in the man’s worried yet encouraging expression.

“This…this is for me?” he murmured. “These aren’t really leftovers?”

He could tell by the way Jensen looked away for a moment that he was right and he wasn’t sure whether to be angry or thankful considering the circumstances.

“I…uh..um…” mumbled Jared.

“I didn’t do it out of pity if that’s what you’re thinking,” said Jensen, cutting Jared off. “I did it because…because I had a feeling you’d need something.”

He held Jared’s gaze as he reached for a piece for himself, lifting a slice of California roll to his lips and taking a moderate bite as a sign of good faith between them. He hadn’t forgotten what he’d seen the night before, how Jared had deprived himself of food while Jeff gluttonously gobbled. Based on just how light Jared had felt in his arms when he’d caught him, he had a feeling that was a regular thing between the two men and Jared’s initial reaction to the fish had simply emphasized it.

Jared watched Jensen bite into the sushi roll and felt a degree of unexpected relief roll through him as he recognized that unlike with Jeff, Jensen wasn’t offering him fish as punishment but as a treat, as something meant to ease the gnawing feeling that had taken hold in his guts. He followed Jensen’s example, gingerly reaching out to lift a slice of the rice and fish and vegetables to his lips like Jensen had then taking a tentative bite. His eyes widened in surprise at the flavor that exploded on his tongue of salt and spice and something savory that had been missing in the dishes that Jeff had forced on him. He couldn’t help the little satisfied hum that escaped his lips as he chewed for as long as he could, wanting to savor the joy of getting to eat something that wasn’t purposefully bland or overcooked for a change.

Jensen’s lips curved into a warm grin as he watched Jared’s face, taking pleasure in the excitement the young man was radiating over something as simple as food. He tried to focus on finishing off his own slice of sushi even though something inside him was clamoring for him to feed it to Jared instead. He could just about picture doing that, feeding Jared the sushi piece by piece and enjoying the fact that the young man was eating and would grow stronger because of it. He fought the urge down though, sensing that Jared wouldn’t likely appreciate the gesture right now, not when the feeling of having escaped was so much in the forefront of his mind. It was like when they’d been walking back to Jensen’s spot, he wanted Jared to feel like it was okay to be himself, to stand on his own two feet rather than be dependent on Jensen the way he’d likely been forced to be dependent on Jeffrey.

He was actually rather taken aback at the amount of feelings that Jared brought to the forefront of his mind the longer he sat and watched Jared gradually work his way through the California roll that Jensen had started him on. He felt like he wanted to wrap Jared up in his arms and never let him go but it wasn’t the same as what he imagined Jeff felt. From the way the other man looked at Jared, the young man was little more than a trinket, some trophy to be paraded about and shown off but not really of much value beyond the shine. Jensen, on the other hand, wanted to take care of Jared, wanted to make sure he wanted for nothing whether it was food or affection, money or time. The longer he looked at Jared the more he felt thoughts of being happy forever creeping in, visuals of waking up in bed to tousled brown hair and drool on the pillow and pressing kisses against Jared’s temple when he dozed off in front of the TV during a movie they’d both seen a hundred times. He felt goosebumps rise along his bare arms even though there wasn’t that much of a breeze and he shifted just a little closer to Jared, their fingers still laced together as his thumb stroked along Jared’s palm.

“Is it good?” he inquired softly. “I mean, if you’re still hungry we can go find something else if you want but I figured this was a good start.”

_‘You need to get some meat back on those bones,’_ he thought, not wanting to say it aloud and risk upsetting Jared.

Jared’s cheeks flushed slightly as he took in the way Jensen was looking at him, almost studying him with that soft, tender look in his verdant eyes that matched the grass they were sitting on. He ducked his head somewhat shyly as he moved to swallow his latest bite then lifted his head so that he could look at his rescuer when he answered.

“It’s really, really good,” he responded. “It’s…it’s great…”

‘It’s more than you deserve,’ whispered an insidious little voice in the back of his mind.

Jared fought the urge to cringe when he felt Jeff’s words wind their way into his thoughts, his stomach rolling briefly at the reminder of what he was running away from. He glanced at the food that remained and wavered between continuing to eat and pushing it away. A gentle squeeze to his hand pulled his attention away from the food and he found himself gazing at Jensen again, basking in the warmth and kindness that shone in the other man’s eyes. He found himself smiling as he noticed the way the skin at the corners of Jensen’s eyes crinkled with laugh lines when he smiled and the freckles that seemed to be splattered across the bridge of Jensen’s nose.

‘He’s more than you deserve too,’ sneered that same ugly familiar whisper.

He swallowed hard and looked away for a moment, what little strength he had left fading under the reminders that Jeff had drilled into his head over the months they’d been together. He was taken aback when he felt a hand come up to cradle his bruised jaw so gently and found himself leaning into that simple touch without a second thought, needing it almost as much as breathing. He allowed that gentle hand to guide his head back so that he was looking at Jensen again like he had in his dream. His eyes slipped shut and he found himself leaning into Jensen’s soft touch even more, his lips brushing lightly against the skin of Jensen’s palm. He felt a strange sort of thrill thrum through him when he heard Jensen’s quick inhale of breath and his lips curved in a smile as he opened his eyes to look at Jensen again.

Jensen knew he shouldn’t just keep staring at Jared but he couldn’t help it. In some ways he felt like if he stopped looking at Jared, the young man would vanish, fade back into being some figment of a dream rather than the reality sitting beside him. He could see the pain written in the tight lines of Jared’s drawn face when he looked away and he squeezed Jared’s hand lightly, reassuringly, to try and pull him out of whatever dark place Jared’s mind had wandered to. Everything Jared felt seemed to show on his face and despite his time with Jeff the kid didn’t seem to have a mask to hide behind or else this last blow up between the two had left it in ribbons because Jensen didn’t even need Misha’s gifts to know that Jared was struggling. He sat up and reached out, cradling Jared’s bruised jaw like he had in his dream walk, wanting to reassure him, to give him the strength that he needed to stay rather than run back to his abuser. He was caught off guard when just like in his dream walk, Jared leaned into the touch, lips brushing against his palm and causing a whole different set of feelings to rush through him. He half expected Jared to pull away like he had before but instead found himself enraptured by the small smile that curved Jared’s lips. He licked his own lips and was tempted to look away, not wanting to frighten Jared off with the desire he could feel simmering in his veins. He wasn’t going to lie to himself and say that he didn’t want Jared like that, that he didn’t want to take him to bed and show him what love making was supposed to be as opposed to how Jeff had likely been treating him but at the same time he didn’t want to pressure Jared, didn’t want to be like Jeff at all but especially not in bed. He steadied his libido by breathing in the warm, salty sea air, letting it calm him enough to where he didn’t feel like jumping the poor kid’s bones. He slowly allowed himself to meet Jared’s gaze, taking in the warmth that burned deep inside those hazel eyes despite the way Jeff had likely tried his hardest to smother it. He couldn’t help but return Jared’s smile and allowed himself to lean in cautiously, brushing his lips against the slightly crooked bridge of Jared’s nose. He leaned his head against Jared’s, savoring the closeness without pushing for anything more.

“You’re beautiful, Jare,” he murmured softly.

Jared felt his eyes slide closed again as Jensen leaned in and his lips parted almost instinctively, expecting a kiss. His brow creased slightly and he found himself surprised at the tenderness inherent not only in the kiss that Jensen brushed against his skin but the soft words that fell from the man’s lips afterward. Even early on in his relationship with Jeff, he’d never been made to feel this way, like he was wanted, like he had value beyond what he had between his legs and even that had been called into question with the way Jeff had grown more and more abusive in the time they were together. He’d never really realized how starved he was for being treated like more than just a hole and a heartbeat, for being touched with kindness rather than brutality. He exhaled slightly, feeling like a monstrous weight was lifted from him just from the simple feel of Jensen’s head resting against his own and the gentle but firm grip of his hand holding Jensen’s. He knew he should eat, should work on rebuilding his body the way Jensen was slowly but surely working on his heart but he didn’t want to pull away and lose this feeling of being safe and wanted. He was so focused in on Jensen that he didn’t realize the world around them had shifted until he felt something cool and wet land on what little skin he’d left exposed. He flinched as he felt one drop after another fall, splatting wetly against his hand and cheek and collar, sliding down along his spine and making him shiver. He pulled his head back from Jensen’s and looked up at the sky that was suddenly darkened with rain clouds.

“Fuck,” muttered Jensen, feeling Jared pull back when the rain began to fall.

What started as just a few droplets quickly picked up into a steady downpour with a strong wind to match that just about tugged the knit beanie from Jared’s head. Jensen reached over in an attempt to secure it only to wind up pulling it off instead and handing it to Jared. Squeals and shouts penetrated the relative peace and quiet they’d been enjoying and suddenly Jensen was focused on gathering up the food before it could be ruined by the rain. He eased his hand from Jared’s grip and scrambled to try and salvage the sushi only to wind up with waterlogged containers and bags. He muttered curses to himself, shaking his head then turned when he felt Jared tugging at him.

“Leave it,” said Jared, watching Jensen’s futile efforts to save their dinner. “We…we should go.”

He gritted his teeth tightly together as he felt the heavy rain soak into his clothes and drench his hair to the point of it being plastered against his head. From the look of it Jensen wasn’t much better off with the way his spiked hair was now flattened down with a few bits sticking to his forehead. Jared swallowed hard as he watched the raindrops bead up on Jensen’s lashes before falling off and rolling down his freckled cheeks, feeling a warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time suffuse his insides despite the way he was chilled by the rain. He smiled when Jensen reached out to help him stand up so they could go back down into the ship and get out of the rain, thinking about what Jensen had said about him; how he’d called him beautiful and found that he felt the same way toward his handsome, green-eyed savior.

“B-b-beautiful,” he murmured, teeth chattering despite how he tried to hide it.

He moved to take Jensen’s hand so that the other man could help him to his feet only to have his legs buckle from under him and blackness flood his vision as he collapsed.

Jensen heeded Jared’s words and moved to pull to his feet instead, reaching out a hand to help Jared get up as well. His cheeks flushed at the look he saw in Jared’s eyes as the young man looked up at him like he’d hung the heavens. He was so caught off guard by the stuttered compliment from those rose hued lips that he just about forgot that they were both out in the elements getting soaked to the bone until he realized that Jared’s teeth were chattering. His eyes widened at the coldness of Jared’s hand as he gripped it with the intent of pulling the young man up to stand beside him then felt his heart drop as he watched Jared’s body go limp, eyes rolling back just before they slammed shut.

“Jared? Jared!” he growled, moving to try and catch the weight of Jared’s loose frame before it could collide with the soggy grass.

He sank back down, blinking away the rain as he shifted to support Jared’s unconscious body, leaning Jared’s head against his shoulder to try and shelter him from the downpour. He was so focused on Jared that he didn’t even realize there was anyone still out there with them until he felt a heavy hand on his other shoulder. He tensed, half expecting it to be Jeff coming to get him and Jared until he heard a female voice that didn’t fit with the masculine grip on his shoulder.

“What happened? Is he okay?”

Jensen looked up and back, recognizing the woman as the one who’d helped earlier, Samantha, and from the looks of it the older man with her was dressed in cruise line uniform.

“I don’t know,” he responded, “We were going to head down and get out of the rain and he just passed out.”

“Can you carry him, son?” inquired the gentleman with the thick salt and pepper beard, “Sounds like a trip to the infirmary is a wise idea.”

Jensen swallowed hard, looking from Samantha and the crewman whose name tag was barely readable in the rain but it looked like it said Tim to where Jared was resting limply in his arms. He nodded, not totally trusting himself to speak at the idea of having to entrust Jared to anyone else’s care even though it wasn’t his place to be caring for the young man in the first place. He felt Tim squeeze his shoulder firmly before he turned away to speak to Samantha, urging her to go on ahead and get in out of the weather. Jensen shifted his hold on Jared, moving to tuck one arm under his knees while cradling the rest of him against his chest with the other. It was rough going since the rain was disturbing the water around the ship enough to make it sway slightly but with Tim’s help he eventually got to his feet without dropping Jared. Even soaked with rain, Jared was painfully light in Jensen’s arms and his skin was almost clammy with the chill but then Jensen’s wasn’t much better at this point with how soggy he was. He kept his eyes on Tim’s white uniform as they made their way toward the bar where everyone had been clustered earlier then to the elevators where Tim inserted a key into the button panel that sent the elevator car traveling down through the many levels till they were practically in the bowels of the ship. Jensen held Jared close, his thoughts wavering between wishing Jared would wake up and hoping the young man would remain unconscious at least until they could get to the infirmary. He grimaced at the pallor of Jared’s cheeks and how they made the bruising along Jared’s jaw stand out even more especially now in the well lit elevator. So far Tim hadn’t asked any questions but Jensen had a feeling there would be plenty directed his way when he tried to explain to the ship’s doctor about the condition Jared was in. The rest of their trip was pretty much a blur as he tried to keep up with Tim as the man led them through the passageways till they reached what looked like a doctor’s office back home.

“Through here, son, I’ll speak to the nurse and get you seen to,” instructed Tim, opening first the infirmary door and then the one that led back to what was likely the exam room, gesturing for Jensen to go through both.

Jensen nodded and did as he was told, carrying Jared over to the exam table and easing him down against the paper covered rubber pad. With his arms freed up, he took hold of Jared’s hand with one of his own while the other felt Jared’s cheek which was finally starting to get color back in it now that they were in where it was warm and dry.

“C’mon, Jare, wake up,” he murmured softly, “You’re scaring me here, man.”

He laced his fingers with Jared’s gently and picked back up where he’d left off, stroking his thumb alongside the side of Jared’s palm while the thumb of his hand resting against Jared’s cheek traced the sharp edge of the young man’s cheekbone willing those eyes to open up.

“Good heavens,” said the doctor as he came into the room, drawing Jensen’s attention away from Jared.

Rather than bothering with any pleasantries, the short man with the curly hair moved into action, summoning his nurse and taking Jared’s vitals. He spared Jensen a brief glance when he moved Jensen’s hand away from Jared’s cheek and saw the bruising, his brow quirking at Jensen in inquiry.

“Not…not my doing,” he choked out, hoping the doctor would believe him.

“I see,” mused the doctor, “Mind telling me…”

The doctor’s eyes widened further as the nurse pushed back Jared’s sleeve to draw blood revealing a wealth of bruises both slightly old and fresh as well as other physical scars.

“Sweet Jesus, if not you then who?” he inquired with a huff. “Never mind, whoever it is, this young man is better off away from him.”

Jared’s mind felt like it was saturated with darkness and he barely registered being moved at all or even where he was until he felt the prick of the needle in his arm. His eyes snapped open and he gasped as the pain penetrated the haze, startling him back into consciousness.

“Whoa, steady there, it’s okay,” murmured a gentle voice followed by another one he recognized more clearly as Jensen’s, “Steady, Jare, you’re alright, you’re safe.”

He caught a glimpse of a blonde woman with a syringe hastily backing away from him then glanced down at his arm before his gaze tracked to Jensen and the man in the room with the white coat.

“Where?”

“The infirmary, you fainted,” explained Jensen quickly.

“And we need to find out why,” added the doctor, “Make sure you’re not seriously ill or have anything contagious.”

Jared’s chest heaved with his breaths as they gradually evened out from Jensen and the doctor’s reassurance. He glanced around, wanting to make sure Jeff was nowhere around then inwardly chastised himself, realizing that Jensen would be a bloody pulp like Stephen if Jeff had found out where they were.

“O…Okay,” he murmured, relaxing back against the table.

He squeezed Jensen’s hand tightly when he felt the nurse stick the needle in again since his sudden jolt into wakefulness had caused her to retreat without the sample she’d needed. He tried to breathe slowly and focus on Jensen’s concerned gaze while the doctor and nurse went about their business.

“How…how long was I out?” he inquired softly.

“Long enough,” said Jensen.

_‘Longer than I would’ve liked,’_ he thought worriedly.

He continued to stroke his thumb along Jared’s hand soothingly, his fears easing somewhat as he felt the formerly chilled flesh gradually warm back up to normal. He was so tempted to bring that hand to his lips, to press them against those slender fingers but he didn’t want his desires to be taken the wrong way by either Jared or the ship’s doctor.

“I’m going to need you gentlemen to remain here until we get the test results back and I’ve got a few other questions before I discharge Mister…”

It was on the tip of Jared’s tongue to give the doctor Jensen’s last name rather than his own, worried that Padalecki would help Jeff track down his whereabouts once the bastard came looking for him but unfortunately he had no clue what Jensen’s last name was.

“Padalecki, Jared Padalecki,” he murmured.

“Mr. Padalecki,” the doctor echoed, nodding in a way that just served to confirm Jared’s worst fear.

His grip on Jensen’s hand tightened as he watched the doctor walk away to consult with his nurse and many machines spitting out information about Jared’s well being.

Jensen could sense the panic rising again in Jared and squeezed the young man’s hand gently but firmly in return to reassure him.

“It’s gonna be okay, I promise,” he said softly, “I won’t let him hurt you, Jare.”

“He may not give you a choice.”

Jared swallowed hard as he pulled his gaze away from the room where the doctor was checking his computer and looked up at Jensen.

“If he finds out I was with you…” he whispered hoarsely.

“I know…I know what he’s done before and I don’t care,” said Jensen, his voice quiet but firm and resolute. “I’m not going to let him hurt you anymore, not as long as I’ve got breath in my body.”

Jared stared up at Jensen, disbelief written all over his face as he listened to the man’s words and searched for the lie. He swallowed hard, unable to believe that Jensen could possibly know what Jeff was capable of and still want to protect him.

“No…no, you don’t know,” he rasped, shaking his head, “you can’t…”

“I know that he put a guy in the hospital because he was helping you with physical therapy and that the asshole paid off the cops to drop the charges,” retorted Jensen. “I know that he beats you, starves you, and I’m thinking based on the way he looks at you and at me that that’s just the tip of the iceberg.”

Jared cringed and squeezed his eyes shut against the memory of what had happened to Stephen and the words Jeff had planted in his brain to remind him of it soon after they’d encountered Jensen. He tried to shake away those images but instead his brain replaced Stephen’s face with Jensen’s and it just about made him sick to his stomach.

“No…no, I can’t let you,” he murmured, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Jensen sighed heavily and finally gave into the desire he’d been fighting, to press his lips gently against Jared’s battered fingers.

“I don’t want to get hurt,” he said softly, “but I don’t want to see you hurt anymore either. I know Stephen had to be strong but I’ve got something he didn’t on my side.”

Jared blinked his eyes open slowly, not realizing he was crying again until he felt a tear escape the corner of his eye to roll down his cheek.

“What?”

Jensen gently uncurled Jared’s fingers and used his hand to guide Jared’s to rest against his heart while with the other hand reaching out gently to wipe away Jared’s tears.

“Love,” he answered. “It may be the craziest thing I’ve ever done but I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you, Jare.”

Jared stared up at Jensen in shock, mouth agape at what the man at his bedside had just confessed to him. He didn’t understand how it was possible, couldn’t even wrap his mind around how someone like Jensen could possibly love someone as messed up as he was. He wasn’t sure if he was even worthy of Jensen’s love considering all the baggage and damage he had thanks to Jeff.

“I…I…” he stuttered.

“Ahem, pardon me, gentlemen but I’ve got Mr. Padalecki’s test results back,” said the doctor, saving Jared from answering Jensen.


	5. Chapter 5

Jensen’s heart dropped a little when Jared had just stared at him like he was crazy and in some respects he was thankful for the distraction of the doctor’s interruption. He didn’t know what he was thinking putting himself out there like that but there’d been something about seeing Jared so scared and vulnerable that made him want to reassure Jared that he wasn’t going to run away just because Jeff huffed and puffed and threw some punches. He shifted from pressing Jared’s palm to his heart to just simply holding the young man’s hand again, stroking it soothingly as they both looked at the doctor expectantly.

“Well, erm, the good news is it’s not serious enough for us to have to send you to a hospital on shore and it’s not contagious,” explained the doctor, “but it does appear that you haven’t been eating well or possibly at all because your blood sugar is extremely low, like hypoglycemic low. That sudden drop combined with a mild hypothermic surge from being out in the rain is likely what caused you to pass out.”

“Okay, so what’s the solution for that, doc?” inquired Jensen.

“Uh, well, thankfully the solution is simple enough, we’re going to do a fifteen and fifteen to deal with the hypoglycemia, fifteen milligrams of something to get his blood sugar up then test again in fifteen minutes to see if the numbers improve. As for the hypothermia, that’s already on the improvement as you’ve likely already noticed and would likely improve further if Mr. Padalecki was able to change clothes.”

“So am I free to go?” queried Jared nervously.

“Not quite,” responded the doctor, handing off a glass of orange juice that the nurse had brought over, “We still have some things to discuss as well as that follow up blood test so drink this and then we can try and address some concerns I have about your well being.”

Jared was tempted to refuse the orange juice, figuring the longer he stayed in the infirmary with the doctor and Jensen the more likely it was that Jeff would come looking for him and cause havoc. He glanced over at Jensen who nodded his head toward the juice encouragingly, concern obvious in his green eyes. He sighed and took the juice reluctantly; bracing himself for that first sip and hoping like hell his body wouldn’t reject his attempts to add something to the sushi he’d eaten with Jensen up on the lawn deck. He swallowed forcibly and kept his mouth clamped closed until he was sure that he wasn’t going to get nauseous then took another tentative sip. The creak of one chair and then another being rolled over next to the bed had him looking at the doctor, then Jensen, then back to the doctor.

“Please, sit down, I would wager that standing there for another fifteen minutes would be rather tiring,” offered the doctor to Jensen before taking a seat in the other chair himself.

He waited until the other young man was seated before he returned his attention to Jared, in particular the bruises on the young man’s face and arm.

“Since I didn’t have the chance before, let me introduce myself, I’m Dr. Rob and I would sincerely appreciate an explanation for why Mr. Padalecki looks like he’s been through an MMA bout and who’s responsible if it isn’t you, Mr…”

“Ackles, Jensen Ackles,” he responded.

“Mr. Ackles,” echoed Dr. Rob, nodding, “So? Is there anything else I should know about other than what those blood tests showed me?”

Jensen’s mouth opened to begin explaining only for Jared to squeeze his hand and quickly cut him off.

“No, Dr. Rob,” said Jared, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do but I’ll be alright.”

“Jared…”

“I’ll be alright, that’s it,” huffed Jared, taking another sip of orange juice.

Dr. Rob looked from one young man to the other worriedly, noting the concern on Mr. Ackles face as Mr. Padalecki denied what seemed to be written all over what little skin was exposed.

“According to the ship’s manifest you’re here as a guest of a Mr. Jeffery Morgan, is that correct?” he inquired.

Both men tensed visibly at the mention of Mr. Morgan’s name which gave Dr. Rob all the information he could possibly want to know about just how Mr. Padalecki had ended up in such terrible health to where just being out in a rainstorm had caused him to pass out and go almost comatose.

“I take it that these injuries that I have noted in addition to your test results, Mr. Padalecki are the result of Mr. Morgan’s behavior?” he pressed. “Because if they are I can contact ship security and make them aware of the situation.”

Jared stared down into the glass of orange juice Dr. Rob had given him and tried to find the nerve he’d had earlier in the evening to speak up, to tell the doctor that he was right. The only thing that made him hold his tongue was the memory of what had happened with Stephen, how Jeff had beaten the guy almost to death and had gotten away with it. How was he to expect it would be any different here at sea than back in their own home? Jeff was a very, very rich man and was used to getting what he wanted so there was no guarantee that he wouldn’t just pay off the cruise line to make everything go his way. He lifted his gaze back to Dr. Rob who was staring at him patiently but earnestly as though he was hoping Jared would give him the go ahead to treat this for what it really was, abuse, but he wasn’t ready to put the good doctor in the line of fire. It was bad enough that Jensen was already putting himself in danger because he’d fallen in love with Jared; he didn’t want to put yet another decent person at risk more than he absolutely had to.

“No, no, you don’t need to contact security,” he murmured.

Dr. Rob frowned and switched his attention from Jared to Jensen, noting the way the young man was sitting stiffly beside the bed. He didn’t have a lot of firsthand experience with these sorts of things, abuse and especially abuse between what he was guessing were same sex partners wasn’t something he’d thought or talked much about since his days in medical school. The one sad fact that he did know right off the bat was that if the abused refused to talk there was little he could do as a medical professional and as a third party employee of the cruise line to help or protect Jared more than he already had.

“Alright then,” he sighed, getting to his feet. “Drink your juice and if you change your mind, just let me know.”

Jared nodded and resumed sipping at the orange juice while trying to ignore the look he could see on Jensen’s face. He could tell Jensen wanted to tell the doctor what was going on but was holding back, recognizing that it was up to Jared.

“Thank you,” he murmured between sips, directing the words both to Dr. Rob’s retreating form as well as Jensen beside him.

“You’re welcome,” muttered Jensen. “Just don’t bitch at me when I end up having to call for backup to keep your ex from killing both of us.”

Jared was taken aback by how despite his reticence to talk to Dr. Rob about his abuse, Jensen was still willing to protect him from Jeff.

“You’re crazy,” he huffed.

“Probably,” mused Jensen wryly. “But I don’t see how me leaving you is going to change things for the better. Besides, the universe probably won’t let me rest unless I see this through, whether the cards were right about us or not.”

“Cards? What cards? What are you talking about?” inquired Jared, suddenly curious and confused much like he had been the night Jensen had shown up in his dreams.

Jensen smiled sheepishly and reluctantly pulled his hand from Jared’s as he moved to stand up, reaching back to pull his deck of cards from his pocket, grimacing at the dampness of the velvet wrapper that he used to keep his cards safe. Thankfully the cards were plastic rather than paper, something he’d taken to doing with his decks after having spent a couple of years doing readings for kicks at carnivals and such when he’d been younger. He unwrapped the deck and shuffled it a few times, feeling his fingertips tingling as he laid the deck of cards down on the bed next to Jared.

“Turn over the top card,” he instructed, already having a good idea of what was going to be on the other side of the card.

Jared took another drink of his orange juice, eyeing Jensen speculatively then looking down at the cards he’d set down on the bed. His gaze returned to Jensen before he finally worked up the nerve to do what the man said and turned over the top card. He’d been expecting something more drastic, something more like Solitaire in Live and Let Die but instead he found the plain old Two of Hearts that was part of a normal playing card deck staring back at him.

“Okay, so…am I supposed to put it back in the deck now?” he inquired, lifting his gaze back to Jensen who was staring at the card Jared had turned over, mouth slightly slack. “Uh, Jensen…earth to Jensen.”

Jensen felt his heart skip a beat when instead of the Jack of Hearts he’d been expecting to be on the other side of the first card; Jared pulled the Two of Hearts. He stared agape at the card remembering it from when he’d done that big reading before he’d gone dream walking and encountered Jared. He blinked and snapped back to the present when he heard Jared calling his name and lifted his gaze to meet Jared’s confused one.

“Is this supposed to be some sort of trick where you memorize what card I pulled and then shuffle the deck or something to see if you can magically find it back?” joked Jared, unsure just what point Jensen had been trying to make.

“N-no…no, it’s not a trick,” murmured Jensen.

He worried at his lower lip a moment, still able to feel that raw tingling of energy in his fingertips which said there was more to see.

“Turn over the next two cards in the deck,” he instructed softly, “I need to see…”

“Uh…okay…”

Jensen watched expectantly as Jared pulled the next two cards and was stunned when not only did the Jack of Hearts, the card he had associated with Jared in previous spreads, appear but right behind it was the King of Hearts rather than Diamonds.

“It’s us…” he breathed, finally getting the answer to the question he’d asked the night before.

“Us? What do you mean?” said Jared, eyeing Jensen totally confused with the reverent way the other man was looking at the cards.

“The Jack of Hearts…that’s you…a young man with a warm heart who is kind toward others,” explained Jensen, “And the King of Hearts…is an older man of the same temperament…someone who is kind and loving. Then there’s the Two of Hearts which signifies an engagement or at the very least a partnership of a positive nature.”

Jared eyed the cards, trying to see them the way Jensen seemed to be able to but to him they were just playing cards.

“I don’t…I don’t understand, how do you know that?”

“Because it’s what I do, it’s part of why I’m here,” said Jensen, sitting back in his chair with a sigh. “I’m a psychic, Jared. I read people’s feelings and personalities using the cards. It’s part of why I was so drawn to you, because you needed me and I needed you in my life, crazy as it sounds.”

He braced himself for Jared’s reaction, unsure if he could handle Jared finding even more reason to push him away than he already had. Exhaustion was settling in between the way the universe had been nudging at him all day and night and then hauling Jared’s waterlogged self in out of the rain and out of danger.

“Yeah it is, crazy, I mean,” murmured Jared. “Not…not the psychic part although that’s hard to believe but the fact that you need me in your life. You just met me an hour ago and now you’re saying you know all this about me, that you love me, that you want me in spite of how messed up I am…I…”

“We didn’t just meet an hour ago, Jared, and you know it,” responded Jensen wearily. “Otherwise how would you have known my name when I didn’t give it to you.”

Jared worried his lower lip with his teeth as he mulled over what Jensen was saying, stealing quick sips of the juice Dr. Rob had given him every so often. He’d never dreamed like that before, never anything quite so vivid that he remembered enough of it the next morning to relate it to real life. But Jensen, Jensen was right; he’d known the man’s name without ever asking for it because Jensen had told him in the dream, had told him to come find him when he was in danger. He glanced down at his now empty hand, already feeling the loss of the warmth and connection he’d felt with Jensen from the moment the man had touched his cheek as just a green eyed stranger. He was struck by just how much he missed Jensen’s touch, missed that level of contact considering had it been Jeff or almost anyone else other than his family he would’ve been running away from it. He swallowed hard when he thought about his family, his mom and dad who had been working so hard to put the money Jeff’s firm had invested into the winery to good use bringing it back up to the level where it’d been before the droughts had hit. He got constant updates from his sister Megan who had gone full throttle on marketing and designing new labels for the wines that were coming out of aging for sale. He was surprised by her enthusiasm considering everything Jeff had told him implied that without the money he’d provided Jared’s family vineyard would be belly up. He shook those thoughts away and focused instead on Jensen where he sat in the chair, dark circles visible under his eyes.

“Are you…are you okay?” he inquired softly.

Jensen’s lips curved into a somewhat wry smile at Jared being concerned about his well being considering he was fit as a fiddle albeit worn out compared to Jared.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay, Jare,” he murmured, “Just…drink your juice.”

Unlike when Jeff would give him orders, Jared didn’t find himself balking at Jensen telling him to focus on drinking his juice rather than worrying about him. Instead he quickly finished the juice the doctor had given him to get his blood sugar back up all the while watching as Jensen struggled to keep awake and focused on him. He set the glass aside and reached for the cards that Jensen had left sitting on the bed next to him. He lifted the three that he’d drawn, thinking about what Jensen said they meant in the grand scheme of things. He felt fresh goosebumps rise along his arms and part of him wanted to chalk it up to him still being damp from the rain but he couldn’t help glancing at Jensen and wondering if the guy was telling the truth, if there really was something between them that was written in the cards and whatever energy that Jensen was able to tap into. His thumb brushed against the slick plastic surface before he set the three cards aside and made an effort to wrap up the remaining deck of cards like Jensen had unpacked them before. He laid them on the side table with his juice glass and returned his attention to Jensen, noting how his chin was beginning to brush against his chest as Jensen nearly dozed off.

“Hey,” said Jared softly, not wanting to draw Dr. Rob’s attention. “There’s uh…there’s room up here if you want…”

“Huh…hmmm?” mumbled Jensen, stirring from where he’d been nodding off.

Jared couldn’t help the way his lips curved in a small smile, the thought of waking up to those bleary green eyes flitting through the back of his mind before he pushed it aside.

“If you’re tired, it’s okay if you climb up here with me, I don’t…I don’t mind,” he offered gently.

Jensen wasn’t sure if he’d heard Jared clearly at first but as the young man’s words penetrated the groggy haze of exhaustion his brows rose and he stared at Jared worriedly. His lips parted to refuse, to turn Jared down on his offer figuring that Jared needed the space more and that he’d only be in the way but there was something in those warm hazel eyes that had him caving in.

“If…if you’re sure,” he murmured, cautiously pushing to his feet and moving closer to the bed than even his seat in the chair had allowed.

“Please…”

Jensen swallowed hard at that small, soft plea as well as the puppy eyes Jared was giving him, their hands finding each other like a pair of magnets, fingers entwining. He licked at his lips nervously then carefully climbed up beside Jared, not wanting to knock him off the bed and cause him more pain since Dr. Rob didn’t have up any side rails or anything like that to keep Jared penned in. He settled down on his side and at first was going to rest his head on the pillow next to Jared’s only to give into the desire to be closer to Jared and lay his head on the young man’s shoulder. He sighed heavily, a strange sense of peace settling over him as he allowed himself to drift off completely with his hand entwined with Jared’s and his head pillowed on Jared’s shoulder.

Jared half expected Jensen to turn him down and he was surprised at himself when he reached out for Jensen’s hand, wanting, no, needing that point of contact back again. He was even more surprised when Jensen actually curled up against him but it felt strangely right when Jensen’s head settled against him. He leaned his head against Jensen’s and allowed himself to relax for the first time in a long time despite knowing that this safe haven was likely short lived. He slipped into a light doze of his own for a little while then startled awake when he felt the cold brush of something against his exposed arm.

“It’s okay, Mr. Padalecki, just taking your second blood sample to see if that orange juice helped,” assured Dr. Rob, his voice barely above a whisper so as not to disturb more than his patient.

“And if it didn’t?” inquired Jared softly.

“We’ll keep giving you small increments of food and drink until the numbers come back in a safe zone,” responded Dr. Rob, “Frankly I’ll admit I’m tempted to keep you here overnight regardless just to ensure you’re in a protected area for as long as possible.”

Jared sighed heavily and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, picturing the raging fit that Jeff would likely have if he remained missing from their room. The bastard was bound to notice he was gone sooner or later, hangover or no hangover, and the moment he figured it out there would be no stone left unturned in his effort to find Jared.

“I appreciate your intentions, Dr. Rob, but I don’t know how much choice you’re going to be given when it comes to me leaving this part of the ship,” he murmured.

Dr. Rob lifted his gaze from where he’d withdrawn the needle from Jared’s arm and studied his patient, taking note of the various bruises and faint scars on the young man’s face as well as his slightly hollowed cheeks and the dark circles under his eyes.

“Mr. Padalecki, I know you don’t want me to interfere more than I already have but there is one thing I have to say,” he counseled. “If you value your life and that of Mr. Ackles, you’ll cut ties with Mr. Morgan for good. I don’t know what he’s using to keep you tied to him but I would find a way to get out and soon.”

Jared swallowed hard and tightened his hold on Jensen’s hand just slightly, trying not to disturb the sleeping man only to wind up with Jensen shifting and curling even more tightly against him. He knew it was stupid to hope that somehow he’d be able to do like the doctor said and escape with both himself and Jensen intact but every time he thought about it, painful memories bombarded him.

“Doctor, I need you to promise me something,” he murmured, his voice hoarse with unshed tears as he looked down at Jensen and felt just how vulnerable the man made him. “If he…if he comes for me while Jensen’s here, don’t…don’t try to stop him from taking me, just…protect Jensen, please.”

Dr. Rob’s eyes widened for a moment as he looked between the two men on the exam table, taken aback by Jared’s request. He studied Jensen and had a feeling the young man was strong enough to stand up for himself if pressed unlike Jared but yet Jared wanted him to keep Jensen away from Mr. Morgan. It went against every ounce of logic he possessed and he had a feeling Mr. Ackles would be beyond pissed at having to watch Jared be taken away by the man who had most likely caused Jared to be so battered. But he could see in Jared’s eyes that he was doing this not out of disregard for Jensen but because whether he admitted it or not, Jared had feelings, deep feelings, for Jensen.

“I promise,” he murmured. “Now get some rest; I’ll wake you if the test results come back negatively.”

He got to his feet, squeezing Jared’s shoulder lightly with his free hand and noting that the young man’s cheeks weren’t the only areas where it seemed like mass was missing. He sighed heavily and headed back into the lab, hoping for a more positive result from Jared’s latest blood test.

Jared watched Dr. Rob walk away, unsure whether to hope that he was doing better or that he would have to stay awhile longer. He allowed his head to tip back toward resting against Jensen’s and let exhaustion get the better of him, his thumb stroking lightly against Jensen’s hand the way Jensen had done to him while they’d been sitting on the grass. He could smell the faint scent of the tropical rain that’d caught them still clinging to Jensen’s hair and skin as he breathed deeply as well as something warm and soothing like vanilla and coconut that seemed to be uniquely Jensen’s. The scent of coconut made him think of the white sand beaches that awaited as part of the cruise and he found himself picturing himself walking along the sand at sunset with Jensen as well as the two of them splashing in the waves before winding up sprawled in the wet sand in each other’s arms much like they were right now. He was hesitant to fantasize beyond that point though he had a feeling that being intimate with Jensen would be a far cry from what Jeff had subjected him to over the course of their relationship. He pictured Jensen running his fingers through his hair and could just about feel the soft brush of Jensen’s breath ghosting against his lips as he leaned in for a kiss when he was startled out of his serene dreamscape by the familiar sound of Jeff bellowing at someone. His eyes snapped open and his heart was pounding in his chest as he searched the room, praying that he could get Jensen to leave or at the very least hide before Jeff got close enough to see him.

“Your patient is MY guest, doctor, and if you won’t allow me in to see him then I’ll be forced to take legal action against you, against the company that employs you, and the cruise line,” yelled Jeff.

Jensen wasn’t sure what totally woke him up until he heard yelling coming from the next room along with the sound of Jared’s labored, almost panicked breathing. His own senses went on high alert the minute he registered Jared’s distress and he sat up carefully, his eyes fixed on the door that led from the front office to the exam area, half expecting it to bust open at any minute considering the profanity and threats he could hear through the nurse’s window.

“It’s him, it’s him, Jensen, you need to go, hide, something, just…I can’t…” murmured Jared frantically, pulling his hand free of Jensen’s in the hopes of coaxing him into moving.

“What? No, I’m not leaving you,” retorted Jensen, grabbing for Jared’s hand as he tried to retreat, “I’m not letting him haul you out of here like some sort of disobedient child. You’re a grown man and he’s nothing but a bully.”

“Jensen, please…”

“No, Jare…no…”

Jared was about ready to shove Jensen off the bed when Dr. Rob’s nurse came scurrying into the back with a terrified look on her face.

“Mr. Ackles, Dr. Rob has requested that you come with me,” she said. “Mr. Morgan is out there and he’s not alone, there are two members of security with him. The doctor knows you mean well in staying with Mr. Padalecki but he told me to tell you that if Mr. Morgan assaults you that it’s likely both of you will be thrown in the brig and likely off the cruise for it.”

Jensen gritted his teeth, hating the idea of abandoning Jared to the monster in the next room but by the same token he could see the reasoning behind Dr. Rob’s orders to flee and fight another day. He wouldn’t be any good to Jared if he was locked up and unlike Jeff, he likely wouldn’t have as easy a time of getting out either. He turned to look at Jared and tightened his grip on the young man’s hand as he brought it to his lips to press a kiss against Jared’s knuckles.

“I will get you out of this, I promise,” he said firmly, his eyes locked on Jared’s. “Next time…next time I’m not running away. I love you, Jare.”

Jared swallowed hard around the lump in his throat as he gazed into Jensen’s fiery green eyes, terror clutching at his heart as he heard the argument in the front office escalate even further. He didn’t want to let go, he desperately didn’t want Jensen to let go of the tight grip he had on his hand but by the same token he knew that Dr. Rob was right. His stomach flip flopped and he felt his heart almost skip a beat when Jensen told him he loved him. It was on the tip of his tongue to say it back but he refrained, not wanting to get Jensen’s hopes up when there was no guarantee he’d even survive whatever punishment Jeff had in store for him now. He blinked back the moisture that was prickling at the corners of his eyes and sniffled, trying to keep a strong front up despite how it felt like he was falling apart inside.

“I know,” he whispered, squeezing Jensen’s hand in return, “Now go…please.”

Jensen fought down the feelings that were warring in his gut over Jared’s response as he heard Jeff and Dr. Rob’s voices grow louder. He glanced toward the door and took the risk of leaning in further to steal one last kiss from Jared’s lips before pulling his hand free and hurrying away with Dr. Rob’s nurse to hide from the human hurricane that was about to descend on them all. He tried not to grimace as the nurse opened a closet door and motioned for him to get inside even though it was just barely big enough for a normal sized person let alone someone built like him. He didn’t balk any further though and pushed what he could aside to climb in and shut the door most of the way closed behind him. He felt a wave of relief roll through him when the nurse moved to stand guard outside the closet, helping to hide him while also giving him the ability to see and hear what went on between Jeff and Jared and Dr. Rob.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared moved to sit on the end of the exam table, back ramrod straight and his shoulders taut with tension as he waited for Jeff to bust into the room. He wasn’t disappointed when Jeff slammed open the door and crossed to where Jared was sitting in a few short strides with Dr. Rob hurrying after followed by two men in security uniform, one big and bulky and the other slender and almost hawkish. The murderous look in Jeff’s eyes had Jared swallowing hard and bracing himself for the first blow of Jeff’s hand only to be caught off guard when Jeff simply clamped down on his shoulder, his fingers digging in just tightly enough to cause Jared pain and discomfort without letting on to anyone else that there was anything wrong.

“There you are, Jared, I’ve been just about tearing this ship apart looking for you,” he said, his voice cloyingly sweet and making Jared’s guts lurch knowing that he was trying to mask his anger. “These nice gentlemen tried to tell me that you didn’t need to see me but that’s not right, is it Jared?”

“N-n-no, no sir,” mumbled Jared, bowing his head contritely.

“I really don’t know how he got out of the cabin but you can be sure I’ll be taking much better care of him for the rest of the trip so that he doesn’t end up here again,” added Jeff, tightening his grip on Jared to let him know just how much trouble he was in.

Jared fought to keep his face neutral, not wanting to let on just how painful Jeff's grip on his shoulder was. His stomach churned with nerves thanks to the way his brain was already contemplating just how Jeff would go about punishing him this time. He allowed Jeff to pull him down off the exam table and felt himself almost buckle again before locking his knees to keep himself upright so that Jeff wouldn’t start beating him right there and then. He kept his head down for the most part, lifting it only briefly to glance toward the closet where he knew Jensen was hiding then toward Dr. Rob who was watching him worriedly. He tried his best to give the small man a reassuring smile but he knew the doctor knew the truth behind it. He allowed Jeff to escort him out of the infirmary and spotted another man in crew uniform out in the waiting room who was watching the whole affair with a blatant scowl on his bearded face that spoke volumes. He saw the crew man exchange a look with the burlier of the two security guards who frowned and nodded before joining his fellow guard in escorting Jeff and Jared back to their cabin.

“Would you gentlemen please remain out here, I need to speak to my partner alone,” requested Jeff, not wanting the guards to follow him inside and overhear what he had to say to Jared.

Jared wasn’t sure whether to be worried or reassured by the guards that positioned themselves outside the door, all he knew was that once he was inside he wasn’t surprised by the way Jeff gripped him by the arm and marched him into the bedroom he’d run away from the night before.

“I ought to wrap my hands around your neck and strangle you until there isn’t any breath left in that pitiful excuse of a body,” sneered Jeff, keeping his volume down so as not to be overheard. “How fuckin’ dare you run off like that after everything I’ve done for you.”

Jared’s mind scrambled for an explanation that would suffice to shield him from at least some of Jeff’s wrath, thinking back to the night before and Jeffrey’s inebriated state. He kept his head down, not wanting to look the man in the eye for fear of him seeing right through the lie he was attempting to spin.

“I…I…I was looking for help,” he murmured, “I thought…I didn’t know if you were still alive. I thought you’d had a heart attack.”

“Like you would’ve cared enough to try and help me if I did,” snorted Jeff. “Even if that were true then how did you wind up being the one in the hospital, huh? No…I don’t believe that for one minute.”

“I slipped…I slipped and fell,” countered Jared, the excuse coming to his lips so readily it was almost painful though it was rare for him to have to use it with Jeff rather than someone else. “I fell and hit my head and woke up in the infirmary, one of the crew must have found me and taken me there.”

 _‘Please believe me, please believe me, please,’_ he thought, pleading with the universe to spare him any further pain and misery.

He sucked in a breath when he felt Jeff’s meaty hand grasp his already bruised and aching jaw, jerking his head up so that his eyes were forced to meet Jeff’s hatefully dark ones. He fought down the whimper of pain that rose in his throat but he couldn’t keep his fear out of his eyes as Jeff stared him down, searching for the truth. He grunted and felt the air get knocked from his lungs as Jeff used his grip to shove him back onto the bed. He scrambled back, terrified of what was coming next.

“You are _worthless_ ,” ground out Jeff. “I don’t know why they even bothered taking you down there, they should’ve just let you rot like the piece of garbage that you are. If I wasn’t so worried about that damn doctor turning me into the authorities I’d finish you off right now but instead I’ve got to pretend that I actually care about you even though I can barely stand to look at your slutty self.”

Jared’s breathing was erratic and frantic as he watched Jeff climb up onto the bed with him and he felt his heart pound in his chest as he saw Jeff’s hand go to the closure of the jeans Jeff was wearing. He bit at his lip, wincing at the pain and tasting a fresh burst of copper on his tongue as he waited to see what Jeff would do next.

“Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?” sneered Jeff. “Did you think I’d forget about the way you kept staring at him, wanting him?”

He worked his fly open and shoved his boxers down enough to get a grip on his cock and stroke it, watching the way Jared’s eyes widened and his body trembled beneath him.

“I own you, you little slut, I own you and your family and everything you care about,” he snarled, leaning down so that his face was just inches from Jared’s, “and nobody’s going to save you, nobody’s going to take you away from me. You’re mine until I decide otherwise.”

Jared swallowed hard as fear consumed him, his eyes squeezing closed as he prayed that Jeff would just do whatever filthy thing he wanted to punish him with and be gone. He cursed his body as he felt Jeff trace his jaw with the flat of his tongue, first one side then the other like he was marking him with his spit. He half expected the man to force him into a kiss but was grateful when instead Jeff shifted his attention downward to biting and sucking at his neck. 

“Such a little slut for me,” growled Jeff. “When we get back home I ought to introduce you to some old friends of mine, make you perform in front of them if you want your family to keep their pitiful little farm.”

He grinned maliciously, relishing the way he’d trained Jared into submitting to him despite the way he knew the little piece of trash wanted to be anywhere but here. He stroked his own cock with one hand while reaching down to palm then squeeze Jared’s cock through his stiff jeans making the kid writhe beneath him against his will. He followed that squeeze with a hard smack that made Jared bite down harder on his lip, causing blood to trickle down his chin and beads of moisture rolled down his cheeks. He smacked the bulge in Jared’s jeans again and again, his own cock throbbing in his hand as he got off on causing Jared pain. He leaned back in to lick away the blood from Jared’s chin before sitting back and jacking himself hard and quick, aiming his cock toward Jared’s chest and bruised lips.

“Gonna mark you, bitch,” he snarled, “Make sure everyone where you’re going knows you’re mine. I may be paying them to touch you but I swear to God if you enjoy even one damn minute of it I will yank you out of there so fast and spank you until your ass is raw.”

Jared hated himself, hated the way his body responded to Jeff’s painful abuse with arousal. He wanted to crawl deep inside himself and never come out with the way Jeff was threatening him. His stomach rolled and it would be a miracle if he was ever able to eat again with how sick he felt inside. He couldn’t fight back the tears anymore when he felt Jeff smacking at his cock but he forced himself not to make a sound, not wanting to give the bastard anymore sick satisfaction than he was already getting. He wasn’t sure what Jeff meant about paying people to touch him but it didn’t really matter at the moment. He fought the urge to gag on his own spit as he smelled the sweaty musk of Jeff over him as the monster jacked himself furiously until warm, wet spurts of come splattered all over his face and clothes. As punishments were concerned, he’d gotten off easy especially when he heard Jeff grunt and move to get back down off the bed. He was caught off guard when he felt a wet washcloth smack him in the face and he opened his eyes slowly, reaching cautiously for the cloth to at least wipe off his face.

“Get up,” huffed Jeff, “I managed to talk the spa into squeezing you in for a massage as a way of throwing that stupid doctor off sniffing around you. I don’t like the idea of someone else touching you but I don’t exactly have much choice.”

Jared did as Jeff ordered, cautiously climbing off the bed and fighting back a wince of pain as his pants pressed tightly against his unwanted and abused erection. He resumed his earlier stance of standing there with his head down demurely, not wanting to provoke Jeff any further.

“Ty and James will escort you up to the spa to ensure that you don’t go wandering off,” said Jeff, moving in close to squeeze Jared’s ass. “And you better be ready to suck up to me in every way possible when you get back or else you’ll be wishing you’d broken your neck when you had your so called slip and fall last night.”

Jared nodded silently, having a feeling that when he got back from his massage he was going to be even tenser than he was now. He was already having flashbacks to their first night on the ship and found himself hoping and praying that Jeff would find something else to distract him while he was in the spa to make him forget about pummeling Jared’s ass. He tried to ignore the stench of Jeff and his own sweat as Jeff escorted him to the door of their cabin to hand him off into the care of Ty and James, the two guards that were standing outside waiting.

“Straight to the spa and back, gentlemen,” ordered Jeff. “I expect him to be back in time for dinner and if he’s not, I’ll see to it you’re both fired.”

“Yes, sir,” responded James while Ty just nodded then looked at Jared’s messy and forlorn form before gesturing with his head for Jared to get moving.

Jared glanced up briefly before moving forward, unsurprised when Ty fell in beside him while James blocked him from retreating. He didn’t spare a single look for Jeff as he walked away, just tried to push the thought of what awaited him when he returned away and tried to think about Jensen and where he could be now.

Jensen was seething with rage by the time he finally was able to safely climb out of the closet where Dr. Rob’s nurse had hidden him away. His fury was so intense it just about overwhelmed the longing he’d felt as he’d watched Jeff force Jared to walk away.

“I swear to God if I ever see that son of a bitch again I’m gonna make him pay for what he’s done to Jared, the fucking nerve of that asshole,” he raged, pacing back and forth in the exam room like a caged beast.

“Steady there, cowboy,” sighed Dr. Rob. “Getting all worked up like this isn’t going to do either of you any good.”

Jensen huffed out a breath and swiped his hand down over his mouth as he tried to rein in his anger enough to keep himself from running out of the infirmary and beating Jeffrey Dean Morgan into a bloody pulp. What made it even harder was that he could still sense Jared, could feel his fear and panic which meant that Jeff wasn’t hesitating to unleash his fury on the young man. He was so awash in his and Jared’s thoughts and emotions that he was taken aback when Tim, the crew man who’d helped him the night before, entered the room.

“I just spoke to Ty, Mr. Morgan has entered the cabin and has asked them to remain outside,” said Tim, looking from Dr. Rob to Jensen then back to the good doctor. “It appears that your plan is working at least for the moment.”

“Plan, what plan?” inquired Jensen, eyeing the two men.

Dr. Rob smiled and seemed to shed some of his earlier demure demeanor as he turned his attention from Tim to Jensen, thankful that he hadn’t filled the young man in on what he was up to for fear of Jared giving it away.

“Since Mr. Padalecki was unwilling to have me assign a security detail to him I found a way to do so without it being obvious, banking on the idea that Mr. Morgan would want to secure his guest for the remainder of the trip so that he wouldn’t go wandering unattended,” he explained.

“What Mr. Morgan is unaware of is that Ty has been instructed to inform either Dr. Rob or myself of any further malicious or obviously abusive behavior on the part of Mr. Morgan toward Mr. Padalecki in the hopes of building a case should Mr. Padalecki resolve at some point to press charges,” added Tim.

Jensen’s eyes went wide as the doctor and Tim explained what they were up to and his jaw dropped as he realized the brilliance of their solution.

“How…when…that’s unbelievable…” he murmured, totally taken aback and shaking his head.

He was still trying to wrap his mind around what was going on when Tim’s phone went off again.

“It appears Mr. Morgan has recognized that he’s being closely watched,” said Tim, sighing heavily as he read the message on his phone. “There was no noise from inside the cabin but Ty says when Mr. Padalecki was turned over to him and James for escort up to the spa that the young man appeared to have been subjected to some type of sexual abuse.”

Jensen felt his anger rise up hotly once again and his hands clenched into fists as he considered what Jeff might have done to Jared once they were back in their room.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered to himself.

“Steady, Mr. Ackles,” soothed Dr. Rob. “I know this is difficult but at this point the best thing you can do is try and get back to normal. Go back to your cabin, get some dinner later and some rest. We have your number from the ship’s manifest if we need to contact you for any reason.”

Jensen was painfully tempted to ignore Dr. Rob’s advice this time and instead go storming up to the spa to rescue Jared before he was turned back over to his monster of a boyfriend again but as he glanced toward the cards that’d been abandoned on the bedside table he allowed his cooler head to prevail over his heart.

“You promise?” he responded, looking from the cards back to Dr. Rob.

“I promise,” replied the doctor. “I’m not blind, Mr. Ackles, it’s part of what’s gotten me into this mess. You two are good for each other. Now go, I’ve got work to do.”

Jensen nodded and let out a small sigh of mixed relief as he crossed to the table to collect his cards, wrapping them back in their cloth before heading out the door. He followed Tim to get back to the elevator then took it upstairs to the floor where his cabin was. His feet felt leaden as he headed down the corridor to his cabin and he glanced briefly at the room where he knew Genevieve and Felicia were staying, contemplating knocking on their door and asking them to help take his mind off of Jared and his worrying about him. He passed their room by and instead went on to his own room, setting down the cards on the tiny desk, half expecting them to call out to him only to be met with silence. He groaned and flopped down on the bed, frustration and, yes, jealousy eating him alive without something to distract him. He was about to strip down and take a cold shower when he felt his phone buzzing in his jeans. His brow creased as he sat up, pulling the phone from his pocket and praying that Jared hadn’t wound up back in the infirmary already. He was surprised when he saw Genevieve’s name on the screen and picked up immediately wondering why she was calling him.

“Hello?”

“Hey there, Jensen, you’ll never believe who I’ve got here,” responded Genevieve, her excitement over the phone infectious.

“Who?” he inquired.

He heard mumbled voices and what sounded like Genevieve handing off her phone before a slightly hoarse male voice echoed over the line.

“Jensen?”

“Jared!”

Jared was so tense by the time Ty and James dropped him off at the spa that it felt like the knots in his back and shoulder muscles had knots on top of them. He glanced up briefly when the woman at the desk spoke to him then hurriedly lowered his eyes again, allowing Ty to do most of the talking on his behalf, not really trusting his voice after what had happened with Jeff. He was surprised when he heard footsteps retreating and looked back to see James leaving the spa and moving to stand outside the confines of the place that was supposed to be relaxing rather than fear inducing. That surprise was followed with another when he felt Ty move closer to him which had him wanting to put distance between them again.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, kid,” he drawled, keeping his voice low, “I’m on your side. Just watch yourself around James, I think he’s a snitch or might be if Morgan pays him.”

Jared’s eyes widened and he looked over at the blue eyed security guard with the slight Cajun drawl, wondering what the man meant. He didn’t get anything further, just a quick conspiratorial wink before Ty turned his attention back to the woman behind the spa counter. He felt some of his tension ease slightly when he watched Ty move to take a seat in the lobby to wait for him and followed the spa receptionist back into the myriad of rooms behind the clear doors.

“You can take a quick shower in here,” she instructed, looking Jared up and down and wrinkling her nose at his appearance. “When you’re done, put on the robe that will be hanging out for you and proceed to the Persian Garden area, your massage therapist will fetch you from there for your massage.”

“T-t-thank you,” stuttered Jared, an embarrassed flush suffusing his cheeks at her assessment of him.

She responded with a professional nod and hum before simply turning away and leaving him there. Jared waited until she was out of sight before darting into the shower room, eager to be out of the clothes he’d been wearing since his escape the night before especially after what Jeff had done. He wasn’t exactly surprised by the woman’s reaction considering he knew he smelled like sex. He smelled like the epithets that Jeff had hurled at him earlier after they were alone again and this time he wasn’t sure if all the eucalyptus and lavender soap in the world would manage to scrub that away. Not that he didn’t try though considering how his skin felt raw and red by the time he’d scrubbed every inch of himself thoroughly with the loofah they had provided as well as the soap and shampoo. He lingered under the heavy spray of the shower, willing for it to wash away the pain of Jeff’s abuse and give him the strength to keep going, to work on finding a way to get back to Jensen who seemed to genuinely love him, ugly baggage and all. He ran his hands back through his hair, letting the rhythm of the water clear his mind of the fog that’d fallen over him from the moment he’d heard Jeff’s voice. He thought back to the last calls and messages he’d gotten from his sister and how they didn’t match up with the things Jeff had been telling him.

“If I could be sure, if I knew they were safe,” he murmured to himself.

He needed proof though, proof that the vineyard and winery were back on their feet and that his parents wouldn’t have to worry about the bank taking it all away or worse, Jeff taking it all away. He resolved to find a way to get in touch with his sister before the cruise was over either with help from Ty or even Jensen if he could find a way to reach out to him. He turned the shower off reluctantly and climbed out, fetching whatever items he needed from the pockets of his old clothes and stowing them in the pockets of the robe. He bundled up his old clothes in his arms and pushed out of the shower room, looking around for someone to give them to figuring he’d ask Ty to help him to either collect new ones from his room or raid Jeff’s pocket for something from the shops on board the boat considering the monster was to blame for how they’d been dirtied beyond what even washing could truly take care of just like Jared himself.

“Excuse me,” he said hesitantly to a young man in a pale blue smock, “Could…could you dispose of these for me, and, uh, point me toward the Persian Garden?”

The young man in the blue smock wrinkled his nose much like the woman who’d led him back to the shower room but went ahead and took the clothes anyway then silently pointed him toward a sign on the wall that directed him to go further along the hall and to the left.

“Thank you,” mumbled Jared, nodding his head before taking off down the hall, his bare feet slapping softly against the tiles.

He glanced up occasionally, not wanting to get lost in the maze and have to inflict his presence on anyone else. He could sense how he stood out, how out of place he seemed and it made him hunch his shoulders that much more, wanting to be small, wanting to be invisible to their eyes. A wave of warmth hit him as he entered the area marked as the Persian Garden, pushing open the clear door to be greeted by a wall of windows that looked out onto the endless blue of the Caribbean, a color that was reflected in the mosaic of tiles that decorated the room. He bit at his lip nervously, his gaze running over the others who were reclining on the tiled beds arranged throughout the area before moving toward the farthest one. He sat down at first rather than laying down, staring out at the water and watching the waves roll along. The heat had sweat beading up along his brow and flattened his hair to where it felt plastered against his neck and skull. It made him feel almost as groggy as he’d been in the infirmary and when his massage therapist didn’t seem to be coming to fetch him any time soon, he caved into the urge to simply lay back and rest, slipping into a light doze. He found himself thinking about Jensen and the way the man’s lips had felt when they’d shared that last quick kiss before Jensen had hidden from Jeff. His lips curved in a soft, almost dreamy smile and he felt a lot of the tension and fear he’d been feeling melt away the more he thought about Jensen, how he’d felt so at peace in the other man’s presence even though he should’ve been running far and fast away from him thanks to what he’d been through with Jeff. He tugged his robe more tightly closed around him in spite of how warm the room was and shifted from lying on his back to on his side which was part of why he wound up jerking awake, cold sweat joining the rivulets already running down his back, when he felt a petite hand on his shoulder. He half expected to see someone in either crew or spa uniform standing there waiting for him and was stunned when instead it was the dark haired young woman who’d been sitting with Jensen at dinner the night they’d boarded the ship.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, it’s just…you’re Jared right?” she inquired gently, keeping her voice soft so as not to draw attention from the other people in the spa.

“Um, yeah,” he murmured, feeling nervousness creep back in as he sat up more fully.

“I’m Genevieve,” she explained, moving to sit cautiously on the tiled bed, “I’m friends with Jensen.”

“I know, did he…did he send you here?”

Jared wasn’t sure how Jensen would know that Jeff had sent him away to the spa but then there’d been that strange exchange with Ty before he’d gone back.

“Nope, I just finished getting a couple’s massage with my girlfriend, Felicia. She’s off getting a mani-pedi right now so I thought I’d come in here and wait till she was done. What’re you doing here? Is…is…um…he around?”

Jared’s brow creased at first unsure who the “he” was that Genevieve was talking about until he noticed the way she was glancing around the room like she expected a monster to lurch up from on or behind one of the tiled beds. A wry smile twisted his lips and he shook his head, shifting slightly to make more space on the bed so that Genevieve could stay and talk if she wanted to while waiting for her girlfriend. Considering the way the two women seemed to have befriended Jensen he had a feeling it was safe for him to trust them as well especially considering they were already wary of Jeff and what he was capable of. He relaxed as she settled down to sit with him more fully and noted the way she was toying with the tie to her robe and kicked her feet in the air.

“So…um, you didn’t say why you’re here and not with…Mr. Ugly,” she inquired, glancing from her feet to Jared and back.

“He sent me here,” responded Jared. “I…uh…I kind of escaped last night for awhile and now he’s got these two goons following me around to make sure I don’t run off again without him knowing.”

“You escaped? How? Where’d you go?”

“Up…out…and I found Jensen in the process, I dunno how but I did.”

His cheeks flushed remembering the way he’d collapsed in Jensen’s arms, just about swooning like something out of an old timey romance with the way his knees had just buckled with relief. He opted not to enlighten Genevieve with what had gone on behind closed doors before his escape, not wanting to frighten her further or draw more concern than he already saw in her dark brown eyes as she surveyed his red rimmed eyes and bruised face.

“I don’t…I don’t understand,” she mused softly. “You got away, found Jensen, but now you’re back with him?”

“I had to, to protect Jensen,” he explained, “We wound up in the infirmary, something about hypoglycemia and hypothermia. That’s where Jeff found me.”

“So he knows then, Jensen does, that you’re back with Jeff?”

“I’m not…I’m not back with Jeff, not like…not like that, not like you make it sound,” said Jared, stumbling over the words, not wanting Genevieve to think he had any kind of feelings toward Jeff, at least not anything remotely like what he was feeling toward Jensen.

He sighed heavily and ran his fingers back through his hair, his body sagging back against the reclining bed with a mix of weariness and regret.

“He told me he loves me,” he murmured, “Jensen did. I…I don’t know what to do with that. How is that even possible?”

He flinched slightly as he felt Genevieve rest her hand on his arm then relaxed slowly as she stroked it almost consolingly.

“Love isn’t rational or logical, it just is,” she said, smiling softly. “And frankly I think he was smitten with you from the moment you laid eyes on each other, Felicia and I could see it at dinner that first night aboard ship.”

“I just don’t want him to get hurt…or worse, y’know?” he sighed. “Jeff…he’s…”

Jared shook his head; thinking of the lengths Jeff had gone to cut him off from almost all contact with his friends, most of whom had been just friends not romances, and what the bastard had done to anyone who tried to help.

“I know, but Jensen’s not exactly a weak guy, physically or otherwise and if he’s told you he loves you, I think he means it and that means he’s probably the kind of guy who would go toe to toe with that abusive brat of a boyfriend of yours and kick his ass,” retorted Genevieve.

Jared’s teeth tugged at his lip then stopped when he felt the twinge of pain from how it was still healing from when he’d bitten it to keep from making a sound during Jeff’s latest round of abuse. He looked away from Genevieve and stared out the window wall at the waves, feeling unsure whether to trust his heart and Jensen’s words considering he’d fallen so easily for a similar ruse a little over a year ago. He could still feel Genevieve’s hand resting on his arm at first then felt her pull it away followed by the sound of her rummaging around in her pockets.

“Y’know, I’ll bet I can prove it to you,” she chuckled. “What do you bet he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you since that ass dragged you out of the infirmary?”

Jared’s brows rose and he turned away from the window wall to see Genevieve fiddling around with her phone then raising it to her ear.

“You’ve got his number?” he inquired to which she just answered with a grin before someone on the other end of the line picked up.

He listened to her talk to Jensen while his jaw just hung slack in shock that Jensen had become close enough to these girls to trade numbers. It was a good thing Genevieve had a girlfriend otherwise he would’ve been beyond jealous especially of the way Jensen was making her grin just talking on the phone. He was so lost in his thoughts that it caught him off guard when Genevieve handed off the phone to him.

“Here, talk to him,” she ordered, placing the phone in his hand.

“I…I…I don’t know what to say,” he stuttered.

“Uh, hello usually is a good start,” she teased, “Go on, say something.”

Jared swallowed hard and lifted the phone to his ear, unsure what to expect on the other end of the line.

“Jensen?” he inquired hesitantly, cringing at how his voice sounded echoing back thanks to Jeff.

He just about pulled the phone away from his ear at Jensen’s exuberant cry of his name from the other end of the phone, taken aback at the warmth that rushed through him at the knowledge that the man was happy to hear from him. His lips curved in a fond smile as Jensen bombarded him with questions, rattling on like a train about to go off the rails.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Where are you?”

“I’m okay, he, um, he sent me to the spa, wanted me to get cleaned up and have a massage,” answered Jared, pointedly avoiding the question about whether Jeff hurt him or not.

“Heh, yeah, I knew you were at the spa, kind of surprised that bastard went that route but I guess the doctor has him nervous,” huffed Jensen. “Somehow I don’t think Genevieve is your massage therapist though so are you in a waiting room or something? Can I come see you?”

“I’m in something called the Persian Garden, they…” he broke off before admitting to Jensen about the shower, “They still haven’t fetched me for my massage yet.”

“Well, when they do…try to make the most of it, I know Jeff probably said not to enjoy it but,” sighed Jensen. “And I know about what he did…well, sort of, Ty texted Tim while I was still with Dr. Rob.”

“Ty? As in the big Cajun security guy?”

“Uh huh, he’s your unofficial bodyguard.”

Jared’s eyes lit up and what Ty had said earlier before he’d gone to the shower finally clicked into place.

“Did you? Who…”

“Dr. Rob’s idea, figured that Morgan would want your precious hide protected from now on, particularly from me probably, so he got us an inside man. I wouldn’t trust the other guy though,” said Jensen.

“Yeah, that’s what Ty said, he figures the other guy is a possible snitch or could be if Jeff offered him enough,” mused Jared then snorted. “Shit, all he’d need to do is find what button to push and the guy would give him intel every time I went to the bathroom, it’s what the jackass does.”

 _‘It’s how he got me wrapped around his finger,’_ he thought morosely.

There was silence from the other end of the line and it grew to the point where Jared wasn’t sure if Jensen was there anymore or not.

“Jensen? Jen?” he inquired softly.

“I’m here, Jare, I was just…thinking.”

“About what?”

“About what Ty meant when he texted Tim about how you were when you left your cabin,” murmured Jensen. “And about what button that bastard keeps pushing so hard that makes you afraid to leave him.”

“My family, he…he talked the bank into refinancing the mortgage on the vineyard during the drought even though we’d been turned down before because the bank didn’t have faith in us being able to make enough to pay them back,” responded Jared.

“So if you leave…”

“He tells the bank to cancel the loan and foreclose on my parents.”

“Son of a bitch,” muttered Jensen.

“Um, Jared, sorry to interrupt but it looks like your massage therapist is here,” murmured Genevieve.

Jared swallowed hard, wishing he had a little while longer to talk to Jensen now that he had him on the phone. It wasn’t as good as being with him in person but it’d made the ache that’d been building in his chest since leaving the infirmary with Jeff and the guards ease off some.

“Hey, Jen, I’ve gotta go,” he whispered.

“Yeah, okay,” responded Jensen, “Enjoy your massage, try to relax and I’ll…I’m gonna start looking into this stuff with your parents' winery because there’s got to be a way out of this or something that Morgan’s holding the cards on that we don’t know about for him to be pretty much holding you hostage like this.”

“I will and be careful.”

“I will, hey, if you find anything or see anything, tell Ty to pass it along to me or Dr. Rob or Genevieve or someone we can trust, I’m going to get you and your family out of this mess in one piece if it’s the last thing I do.”

Jared’s lips curved in a weak smile and he blinked back the faint beginning of fresh tears as he let Jensen’s words sink into his heart.

“You’re amazing, y’know,” he murmured.

“Heh, yeah?” chuckled Jensen sheepishly.

The line went silent again for a moment before he spoke again.

“I love you, Jare.”

Jared glanced toward the massage therapist and held up a finger to halt her in her tracks before she could come any closer. Once he was sure she was far enough away not to overhear, he turned his face away and cupped his hand so that no one could read his lips or hopefully hear him other than Genevieve who he could see staring at him out of the corner of his eye with a giddy, almost lovey-dovey look.

“I love you too, Jen.”

He didn’t dare give Jensen a chance to say anything further, just hung up quickly and passed the phone back to Genevieve knowing she’d overheard everything.

“Thank you,” he said softly, “and if there’s anything you can do to help him, please, do it.”

“I will,” she responded, squeezing his arm, “You take care of you, I mean it, don’t…”

He nodded, knowing what she was getting at when it came to wanting him to take care of himself.

“I’ll do my best,” he said, giving her a weak smile before getting up and heading over to the masseuse.

Genevieve watched Jared go; noting the change in the tall young man from the sad, scared boy he’d been when she’d first approached to the confident guy he was after talking to Jensen. She had a feeling that if Jensen could just find a way out for Jared that those two guys would have that same Nine of Hearts happy ending that Jensen had predicted for her and Felicia.

Jensen stared at his phone and resisted the temptation to press the number that would call Genevieve back in the hopes of getting to hear Jared again. He hadn’t missed how Jared had danced around his inquiries about his physical well being and he had tried not to press too hard but the fact that Jared hadn’t wanted to talk about it combined with Ty’s text to Tim made him worried. He flipped the phone around idly in his hand, using the other to swipe down over his mouth before he forced himself to put the phone aside. He managed to fight the pull of the convenient little device for about ten minutes, and he made a point of counting every one, before finally caving in and picking up the phone again. His heart lurched in his chest when the phone buzzed in his hand, a message popping up from Genevieve that both eased some of his longing and added to his concern at the same time.

‘You, me, Felicia, dinner again? Sounds like you’ve got work to do. Three heads better than one plus you should see Ariel work the web, she’s got mad skills. You up for it?’

Jensen stared at the message considering his options which at the moment seemed to be to either go digging into what he could find out about Jared’s family and past on his own and dinner be damned or grab a bite with the girls and hope that Felicia and her mad skills could help him find the answers they needed. Part of him hated the fact that the girls were getting dragged into this much like Jared hated the fact that Jensen was now involved and Dr. Rob as well. He wasn’t worried about himself but he did worry about them considering if Jeff was willing to beat up on Jared the way he did it wasn’t exactly a big step to him doing the same to say Felicia if Genevieve refused to cooperate and back off. The man seemed to be a master at manipulating things and it made Jensen sick to think about how the bastard had tugged Jared into that web. He thought back to how it’d been Genevieve who’d obviously run across Jared in the spa and how she’d reached out to him so that he and Jared could talk.

“Goddammit,” he muttered to himself, realizing that it was already too late to worry about Genevieve and Felicia since just that little move alone could put them in harm’s way.

He shook his head and hoped he wouldn’t regret doing this when he texted back one single word before taking Dr. Rob’s advice and grabbing a nap and a shower since he had a feeling regardless of where they went for dinner they were going to be burning some serious midnight oil in the internet café later on.

Despite what Jeff had said, Jared found himself enjoying the massage to the point where he almost didn’t want it to end. The only other time he’d felt this relaxed on the cruise was when he’d been snuggled with Jensen in the infirmary. He dreaded what would be waiting for him when he got back to the cabin considering the lesson Jeff had drilled into him before the security guards had escorted him away.

“Easy, relax,” instructed the massage therapist. “Let your worries go, young man, worries lead to tense shoulders and undo all my work.”

Jared could hear the smile in her voice as she added the last part and he tried to do as she said, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. He relaxed against the massage table and pondered what he was going to do when he could no longer take refuge in the serenity of the spa. Clothes were his first priority considering how he’d been so nervous entering the massage room with just the fluffy albeit comfortable robe covering his nude self. His mind wandered to Jensen again and what he was likely doing, remembering the comforting sound of his voice on the other end of Genevieve’s phone. His lips curved in a slight smile as he found himself replacing the massage therapist’s capable hands with Jensen’s firm ones, thinking of how it’d feel to have Jensen’s hands on him in more ways than one. He was somewhat taken aback at that train of thought considering how little he knew about Jensen and everything Jeff had put him through. There was just something about Jensen though that called to that small part of him that Jeff hadn’t managed to destroy and break to his will just yet. He used those thoughts of Jensen to carry him through the rest of his massage even though by the time the massage therapist was done he was in a rather awkward position. He heard her chuckle as he shifted on the table and she gave his shoulder a firm squeeze before moving away from the sound of it.

“Don’t worry, hon, you’re not the first and probably won’t be the last,” she remarked with a soft chuckle. “Anatomy is a fickle thing. I’ll leave you alone for a bit so that you can settle down then you can go back to the Persian Garden for awhile if you’d like.”

“Uh, yeah, I’d…I’d like that,” murmured Jared, “Is…um, is there somewhere I can get clothes before I leave here? The ones I came in with…they’re ruined.”

“Absolutely, I’ll grab you a shirt and some of our sweat pants that you can at least wear back to your cabin,” she responded. “We’ll just put them on your cabin’s tab.”

“Thank you,” sighed Jared.

He listened to her footsteps as she walked away and worked on doing like she’d said, getting his body to settle down enough to where he could sit up on the table without embarrassing himself. He wasn’t sure how long it was before the massage therapist came back with the clothes she promised then left again while he dressed, leaving the sheet he’d had draped over him while getting the massage and the fluffy robe behind to be washed once he’d transferred his phone and wallet to his new clothes. He didn’t head out to the spa lobby right away, opting instead to take the massage therapist’s advice and go back to the Persian Garden for awhile. He was slightly disappointed to see that Genevieve had left by the time he returned but he had a feeling it hadn’t taken her girlfriend long to finish her mani-pedi. He smiled, remembering his mom and sister going for those from time to time, particularly when Megan had been in high school before prom. He moved toward the wall of windows to look out at the water rather than taking up one of the beds, noting how the sun was setting and painting the sky with all kinds of soft, warm pinks and oranges. He swallowed hard and forced his nerves to settle down, not wanting Ty or his other guard to know how nervous he was about going back to the cabin. He pressed his hand against the glass and sent up a silent prayer that Jensen would find the key to breaking him out of his gilded cage before finally turning away and heading back out to the lobby where Ty was waiting for him. 

Ty thankfully didn’t rush their trip back to the level with his and Jeff’s cabin and Jared found himself glancing over at the security guard before reaching to open the cabin door. Terror gripped him for a moment especially when he caught sight of a busted up mirror along with a ton of papers scattered on the table. He glanced back at Ty, gesturing with his head for the man to follow him in as a protective measure figuring if Dr. Rob was going to assign him a bodyguard he might as well make the most of it. He scanned the room, noting how Ty was doing the same, searching for some sign of what Jeff had been doing while he’d been gone. He didn’t dare say a word for fear of bringing the wrath of an out of control Jeff down on himself again.

“I don’t think he’s here, Jared,” murmured Ty.

Jared worried at his lip as he nodded in agreement especially when he peered into first the bedroom then the bathroom and found no sign of Jeff other than the damage he’d wrought.

“My advice, son, gather everything you can and lock yourself in the bedroom in case he comes back,” suggested Ty. “I’ll stay out here in the living room area under the guise of ensuring you don’t go out wandering while he’s gone.”

“Okay, if…if you’re sure,” murmured Jared, trying not to let the sight of that broken mirror send him running for the hills before he had a real way out of this mess.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, I’ve got this,” assured Ty. “Now go on, let me do my job.”

Jared moved around the room, collecting anything that he knew was his and checking his personal bags and belongings to make sure Jeff hadn’t destroyed anything during whatever had set him off. Thankfully nothing was broken other than the mirror and oddly enough nothing of Jared’s had been part of Jeff’s mayhem. He pulled out his phone as he was settling in and found a text from Jeff that had him even more confused. He’d never known Jeff to be quite such an avid gambler but it seemed like ever since they’d gotten on board, Jeff was either dining with other moneyed assholes or in the casinos. He set his phone aside with a heavy sigh and pulled the bedroom door closed, taking Ty’s advice to lock it in the hopes of keeping Jeff from assaulting him whenever he returned to the room. Hopefully the bastard would be too drunk to see straight or remember what he’d promised before shipping Jared off to the spa.


End file.
